Kyle...aren't you proud?
of everything i've done?
don't you love me still?
am i the only one?
sitting on my bed,
blood upon my hands,
a deragned feeling pulls my heart,
and threatens to expand,
blood upon thy wrists,
that i will slit in fear,
it's better that i get it out now,
then perhaps next year,
waiting nervously,
as the blood runs to a fall,
i hear the doorbell ring,
and the ring turns to a call,
she lets you inside,
and says i'm in my room,
i can't hear your voice,
and the darkness shrouds my room,
i throw the gun to the floor,
and kick it beneath my bed,
the card drops into the blood,
that's pouring from my head,
you bust through the door,
and i hear a long hard cry,
you pick me up and howl,
i didn't mean to lie,
the blood rushs from my body,
and the card fills with a steady red,
i'm sorry that i missed,
i'm sorry that i'm dead.
A contest entry
- My Bloody Valentine (CONTEST) by Touchof1der.
900 points, ended February 2, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
let me hear ya~
Comments
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now thats sad and depressin
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You may wish to look over the lines more carefully. You have some grammatical errors as well as typos. The thought behind the words itself are well received. I appreciate the time and effort you took to enter my contest. Thank you and good luck!



♥ Touchof1der -
Wow. This was a really good poem. So very sad though, The imagery to this poem was just....wow. Excellent job!
~~~Vampireblood~~~

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thanks for the comment!
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