The Irish Potato Famine
How to compare
the emerald carpets of the Kerry downs,
fertile and lush with life giving crops;
with the days that Satan’s disgorged bowels
sprayed canker from coast to coast?
Asphyxiating the temperate air
choking the land.
Regurgitating the foul soil into boggy bile,
stagnating the rich earth into rancid mold;
creeping swirls of cloying mist,
desecrate curtain
verdant death.
Starvation hit like a hammered blow,
man, woman, child left to fester in decaying pits.
And the day dawned black like a Banshee’s wail
dragging this island into Hell;
and the Devil fatted on Irish stew,
while the weak and wasted prayed.
A contest entry
- potatoes by honey bear.
450 points, ended February 2, 2007, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Luck o' the Irish by Mel-the-Believer.
300 points, ended March 12, 2007, 9 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LUCKY # 7 by poetryality.
1000 points, ended March 24, 2007, 21 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Inkwell Prewrite Contest by SurelyWritten.
1500 points, ended May 23, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raven Qualifier - General: Free Verse, Rhyme and Everything Else by Raven Contest.
450 points, ended August 1, 2007, 140 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Une saison en enfer by Aesthete.
1500 points, ended August 24, 2007, 62 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best free verse for an anthology: OVWA Winklings # 182 by Lyndon.
2050 points, ended July 29, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I keep coming back to this. I think I've read it five or six times at this point. Something is off and I can't put my finger on it. There's no natural rhythm to it and even prose should have a rythm. I think it may be because of the form and punctuation. I like this, but I think it should be revised, at the very least left justify and use the line breaks to help find the rythm.
Thank you for entering. -
Thank you for your entry into the 2007 Raven Contest. After lengthy consideration the contest rules enforcement panel has found (in a 2-1 vote) that this entry constitutes prose rather than poetry, which is not premissable for this contest (RCR 5.3 - you can link to the contest rules from the Allpoetry name Raven Contest or recieve a copy emailed to you by submitting a request to the address referenced below.)
Two of the three voting REOs provided this finding due to entry's line breaks appearing to be irrelevant to the overall reading of the text. All voting REOs felt that this piece constituted excellent writing that was, nevertheless, not allowable under the contest rules.
If you wish to dispute the findings of this panel you may do so by sending a letter to ravencontest@comcast.net which should state that you wish to challenge this decision. Be sure to include your Allpoetry name and the title of the work to be reconsidered. You may also use this email address if you wish to request a change/alteration code that will allow you to enter a different piece into the contest.
Regards,
Raven REO staff
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As for the poem itself, I found it very surreal, not skipping a beat for one moment. Although you ended it nicely, I personally would have gone on to when the native americans stepped up and helped the Irish save their oh so very important crop. Excellent job!
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I’m very impressed with the quality of imagery in this piece of work and have to agree with my co-judge that the descriptive nature of the writing evokes intense and emotional feeling for the reader. This was proved to me in two different areas. The first three lines are a wonderful account testifying to the verdant beauty that only a country like Ireland holds, then that beautiful image was promptly shattered by the forth line ‘with the days that Satan’s disgorged bowels’ which to me, commenced the flavour of the scene for the rest of the piece. This imagery is built on and is so gripping through the use of words like, regurgitating, stagnating, rancid and decaying. The potato blight not only hit Ireland in an extremely devastating way, but the knock-on effects of hit were felt in many lands and destroyed the lives of thousands of people. In my mind it is truly amazing that one tiny bug can have such an effect. Although the topic of this poem is quite specific I think it has a great deal of potential to draw other such devastating events in to the readers mind and this is what I like to see a poem do, not to merely suggest but inspire further thought.
I really can’t elaborate any further as I would just be repeating my co-judges words, but take it that I thoroughly enjoyed this piece of work and find no fault in it.
Thank you for entering the Raven Contest 2007 and good luck with your entry!
Northern Raven
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The most striking thing about this piece is how it nearly immediately reminded me of some works I read over Memorial day about World War II. So much sorrow and suffering in both, it is hard to grasp... our words seem inadaquete to the job.
Give that easily agreeable reality, I think you have penned a fine effort here. Your images of a "choking land" with "creeping swirls of coiling mist" are more than sufficent and provide a sinister element added to nature by the onset of man. (Surely it a multi-generational reality that none should be hungry save for our unwillingness to feed them.) Further, the concept of man's connection and dependence on the very thing that (today) we also spoil, does not go unnoticed.
The overbearing emotion sent out from this work is the connection the reader is forced to make between his or her quality of life and that of the individuals portrayed both in the image in the writing. If good poetry can be said to contain at least one great idea, certainly the inspired empathy you have created here qualifies.
Well done. Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
This is a very strong poem--strongly worded with vivid imagery. Awesome job. Charlynn
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thanks for entering
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I have never heard the "Great Potato Famine" written with such intensity or such staunch emotions. I can only say that this is a BRILLIANT work and is certainly a contender! The imagery is startling and the language usage stellar. I read all poetry aloud and with this piece I used my lower voice range. Mellow-dramatic work (and that is exquisite in my book).
Thank you for this skillful writ, and for entering it into my challenge. I wish you all the best.
Much Love ♥
Renee
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This defenitely told of the sad history of Ireland. I always get annoyed that Irish have had such a hard time throughout history. Anyways, I really liked this poem. The picture added to it as well. Thanks for entering it into the contest. Good luck. God Bless you!
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Excellent piece.
A superb piece of historic realism.
Congratulations on the gold.
A well deserved win indeed.
Blank.
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Beautifully written poem based on the contest theme. My grandfather's parents came to the U.S. at the time of the potato famine--(I believe), and though they passed on before I was born, I know my Grandfather in his day had stories of their plight. He also ALWAYS insisted on some potato dish served with his dinner every night--(and a staunch Irish temper about such things)!
Your poem really causes a reader to think about this time in history and the line of "verdant death" is just eloquent and touching as to Ireland and this famine.
Beautiful writing and very best wishes to you in the contest!
Jo
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This was an excellent write. It was very emotional and sad but you have put the message through so well. This poem flowed well and I loved the imagery you have used. Very powerful poem.
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This is crafted excellently with a minimum of words. My wife's mother's family is Irish, and the impact of this famine still hangs over their feelings and behavior. For such a major catastrophe this told the story in to great effect.
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masterful
you got right to the guts and bones of this historic traged. masterfully spun your tale had power!
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i like this poem it is education and golden, lol, one out of two ain't bad, lol. but on the real this is great keep it flowing and good luck in the contest.
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You've conjured up a very vivid and sad picture of those whose lives were blighted at the hands of nature. Good luck in the contest.
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this is such a sad and heart touching write my friend,so many came over to england/wales and it makes me ashamed to know how they were treated when they arrived and searched for homes,food and work,so many people starved or were too weak to make the journey..so very sad..good luck in the contest
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