The Venting

Why is it that something so simple (some might call it stupid, actually) can upset me so much? Maybe it's my Cancerian possessiveness, or my fear of losing my individuality, or my attachment to the material world..? Whatever it is, it's always bothered me when my sister takes my things, and she often "borrows" my clothes without asking and rarely returns them to me. Maybe it upset me more this time because no only is the shirt she took and wore WITHOUT my permission one of the ONLY shirts that looks good on me, I have sentimental value attached to it because I saw the man closest to my heart while I wore it one time. Maybe this is why I don't like buying or wearing pretty clothes; I rarely /fee/ pretty anyway, and I guess it's also a protective measure, 'cause when I only have baggy or "ugly" clothes, my sister never takes them; she only takes the pretty things. (Maybe subconsciously I feel that by taking these from me, she's telling me that I'm not worthy of wearing pretty things because I am not, in fact, pretty, and only pretty people can wear pretty clothes?) Maybe it's also related to my past because I know that being pretty draws male attention and I'm still uncomfortable around guys for the most part... but also, maybe the Cinderella story is true and I was one of the stepsisters who stole Cinderella's dress in a past life or something? I know it sounds stupid, but you never know... I just see a deeper psychological issue here and had to write about it before the thought left my mind completely. I am trying to overcome my attachment to all things material so that I can grow spiritually, and I guess before I can get rid of my attachment I have to get rid of all my fears... and realize that I'm secure withOUT material things. Perhaps I'm just disturbed... but I don't think so. Venting about this has helped, so I feel less negative now, thankfully. I hate being negative because I know that I affect others because we're all part of one, which IS supported by the Bible, although SOME people think I'm a total pegan... and you know what? I don't really care anymore. You are entitled to your opinions, and I am not well-educated in my beliefs (YET) so perhaps I am at fault... but I know that you can only hate that which you do or were. For example, someone I know HATES homosexuality and in my readings I have learned that you can only hate that which you were, so I presume that this person WAS a homosexual in a past life. Same with hatred of hypocrisy, possessiveness, lust, etc. Wow, this is turning into something a lot more spiritual than it originally was intended to be, and I don't want to preach really, so I'll end it here. If you have ANY comments, whether good or bad, please leave them, although I would appreciate if the criticism wasn't TOO harsh; I am sensitive, although I try to take nothing personally. Anyway, if you've read this far, thank you for putting up with my random thought patter. (I am a quadruple 7 after all.) I appreciate it!