“I know why the Caged Bird sings”
Original Oratory
Aimee Norman
You think you know everything, right? Typical. You know that blue and yellow make green, you know that ice cream melts on a hot day, and you certainly know going to prison is a horrible experience. Don’t worry. Two out of three isn’t so bad. I’m here to tell you that going to prison not only is definitely not a bad thing, but it is actually one of the top five things that Americans these days are doing. You know how we all like to ‘Keep up with the Joneses’ with the new chic activities.
John Hicks was born and raised in Millsford, North Carolina. He didn’t come from a particularly rich family, but they weren’t what the state would classify as ‘poor’ either. His mom worked in a factory, and his Dad taught at the local high school. John was a basically happy kind of guy, always willing to lend a helping hand where it was needed. Then, in 1996 when his Mom and Dad both died in a fire that destroyed their three bedroom home, something inside of him snapped. He became increasingly bitter, never accepting any ‘charity’ from his old friends, drinking himself into oblivion. Living on the streets was the least of his problems as he vied for food and warmth each night, no what really got at the core of John was his newly found habit of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. One such instance placed him in the middle of a heated court battle in which he was of course innocent, but he lost all the same.
At first John was petrified. Just like you and I, he’d always assumed that going to prison would be the most terrible thing he would encounter in his lifetime. But that first day, when they spiffed him up in gently used, clean clothes, and gave him more food than he’d had in weeks, he knew he was in paradise. To this day, in the year 2007, he spends most of his time ‘behind bars’. “I don’t know what I’d do with myself without prison.” John once said, “It’s truly saved me in many ways.”
Did you know that in 1995, 49 million people in our country fail to meet the basic needs of life. That is to say that one of five people can’t get clothing, shelter, and food. Did you also know that our hard earned tax dollars can be transformed into 100% free help for those poor souls? Prison is one of the few free-to-user facilities left in this country of increasing demands. Enrollment automatically includes three square meals a day, a warm bed, and nice orange coveralls. Three hots and a cot. Why would anyone who was suffering of hunger deny going to this shelter of sorts for such unattainable comforts?
Beyond poverty, another major problem that Americans are facing every day is obesity. That’s right, 48 million people in this country are obese, and another 3 million are morbidly obese. In prison they offer you many options for workout plans. From organized sports, to weight equipment, and even a nice lush green yard to run through to your hearts content. Remember those meals that I was telling you about? They don’t exceed your daily values of calories and fats, which means– you got it! Great diet plan for shedding unwanted pounds.
From my previous examples, you can see that we as Americans are unhealthy folk. This isn’t so good for us, but it is good news for our doctors! You can bet they relish in those fat bank accounts that they add to with every sniffle and sneeze that walks through their double doors. The average American spend 60 dollars on a visit to the doctor, and 380 dollars for a visit to the E.R.— and that doesn’t even touch on the prescriptions they will have to purchase to combat the illness. Some people, simply can’t afford that, and you know what I say to them? Rob a bank. No, not for the money in particular, but for the real payoff– prison time. In prison you get to see the doctor every time you are sick, and the dentist every time you get a toothache. Who pays? Who cares. It isn’t you.
As I’m sure you’ve realized, your mother has been horribly limiting you all these years by urging you to ‘be a good girl or boy’. Good boys and girls, don’t go to prison. Bad ones, certainly, smart ones, sure, but not good ones. Prison has a lot to offer the average American in today’s society. Food, exercise, and medical care are really just scratching the surface, prison offers such varying things as friends with like interests, all the way down to free hygienic products. So take chances, make mistakes, and get messy, and remember, always walk towards the flashing lights.
Bibliography
1. I used Dictionary.com for several definitions. A few include ‘chic’ and ‘oblivion’.
2. http://www.bcbstx.com/employer/hccc/topic6.htm offered the statistics on doctor visits.
3. http://www.annecollins.com/obesity/statistics-obesity.htm- Obesity statistics.
4. http://www.uwcnm.org/information/basicneeds_overview.htm - Basic needs of life.
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