All I want is to escape -
All that I adore.
My efforts all emancipate,
My efforts are ignored.
Dreams that once romanced me,
Dreams I now abhor,
Are as lost as they can be,
Are tossed upon the floor.
Dead, but riddles to uncover,
Dead, forgotten rapidly -
And I care not to recover,
The dying dreams in me.
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by Welcome-To-Hell.
700 points, ended February 16, 2007, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - biggest contest in allpoetry history! (i hope) need 1,000 entries!! by Gasp.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2007, 638 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Don't review, I'm not serious.
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
-
That's... depressing. Original form though. The repetition enhanced the poem well.
-
This was excellently written great rhyming and flow wonderful breaks this was penned very well best of luck in the contest
Bravo -
This is very visual in an emotional sense. I love it.
-
I'm back!
ep, another poem with rhymes. It kind of seems like my form of writing not yours, weird. I'm so used to writing stuff like this no a days. Hm, the rhymes seem off at some points, it's still very good though. Need's a bit of work but it's good. wow, I just got the title
teheh
the slow poet Morning -
This had a very nice flow to it. A good one to read out loud. I liked your rhymes and near rhymes. It worked well.
-
Horizontal - in duplicate - All my dreams are dead
Now see? I like the rhythm in this, it's not 'perfect' but it sounds closer to actual speech, as in the 'lilt' that exists naturally in the English language and the little play in the format makes it interesting.
My hitch would be the last line which you could have a bit of fun with ...
just an example..
And I care not to recover,
The dead of dreams in me.
-
-
Thats a very interesting suggestion... I am still trying to work out if I like it or not... it is more fun.
Funny that no one has asked me if I screwed up the title yet, since the novelty would be vertical, not horizontal. -
-
Ok, I decided that was better.. but I feel held back by the fact that it isn't mine.. lol... I changed the the last line to the somewhat less inspired above.
-
-
-
I read this through several times and I like it. It's sad to lose your dreams but I can very much understand how that feels and I think this pieec sums it up so well.
-
-
lol.. I am fine.. this was just for fun
-
-
very nice job on this... i like the whole all my dreams are dead thing... very nice... uhhh... i'm not totally sure... but some places rhyme and some dont... oh wait... i see it now... the rhyming is nice, but there is a spot or 2 that's rhyming is kinda forced...
but still a very nice job
-
-
Yeah, its all in how you read it... the verse is fast. But anyway, as noted, I was just playing around with this.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 12 of 12
