The lusty haze
of the club's best room,
lights flash
the disco ball twirls
Filthy little girl,
with her short skirt,
pigtails,
and lace
just got plastered,
with the newest, unparralleled
stimulant around...
But your shifts not over,
Mr. Candyman in the back corner
has his greedy eye on
our cottoncandy baby girl
His sweet tooth is itching
and she can scratch it just right.
Lengthy French manicured tips,
tickle the frosty bits of a
5 o'clock shadow,
that is over due of a shave
Neons blaze, SLUT
as she goes down, slowly
taking her pride
along for the ride.
Plucking pearls from his throat
is just as easy, as a right twist
of the tounge.
Fingers placed perfectly,
for the candy of the candyman
His sweet subtle filling
turns white on her brand new blouse
but thats just peachy,
because the candyman's best candy
comes in the color of green
and that'll replace the blouse,
and buy a whole new line
which will dissapear quickly,
through an edged straw.
All the razorblades,
littered on the floor
are stained in white, not red.
Because who slits wrist,
when killing brain cells
is so much more thrilling.
Bloodshot eyes make their way past the coke,
to the clock.
Time's up.
Stilleto heels laced up.
She makes her way down the street.
Corner lights screaming
SLUT, WHORE, FAKE,
but who cares what they think
with your new high,
and make up smeared just fright
the world is your appple,
to shove razorblades
into the depths of its core.
A contest entry
- Glitter Queens & Nicoteen by E t e r n i t y.
650 points, ended March 5, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [dirty]pretty prewrites. [part trois] ♥ by noir eyes.
475 points, ended February 13, 2007, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - x |Heroin| x by Dead Star--x.
300 points, ended April 16, 2007, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ditry pretty (a revolution) by Chelsea dagger.
470 points, ended April 12, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
this is getting a lot closer to what i'm looking for. its a quality dirty pretty poem without all of that useless punctuation. its easier to read and just works better.
-
Excellent! I love this poem.
I really liked the content, and that it had the Dirty.Pretty feel without relying on the p.u.n.c.t.u.a.t.i.o.n.
Lovin' these lines:
"His sweet subtle filling
turns white on her brand new blouse
but thats just peachy,
because the candyman's best candy
comes in the color of green
and that'll replace the blouse"
Great job.
-Allura -
I really like this, it's different & twisted & thats my favorite type of writing. Good job.
-
Mr. Candyman in the back corner
has his greedy eye on
our cottoncandy baby girl
His sweet tooth is itching
and she can scratch it just right.
wow. im in awe. this was rad. it really was, babe. thanks for sharing this with meeee. =] ♥ -
I LOVED the whole double meaning of this poem,and how everything is so twisted.
-Mr. Candyman in the back corner
has his greedy eye on
our cottoncandy baby girl
His sweet tooth is itching
that stanzas Where I first started getting a really good feel of where the poem was going.
The ending was amazing too -
I LOVE THIS!!!
LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it's amazing and gripping and
HEART-POUNDING!!!
it was an edge-of-your-seat
poem!
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1 - 6 of 6
