I'm fading
with every nod of my head;
every tip-toed step.
With glitter glazed [over] eyes
and an
I'm-Too-Good-For-You frown.
each word that escapes
this permanently chaffed throat
is coated with peroxide,
'cause I've changed myself again.
a kiss from last year
still burns in my ear
as I pass out
with angels who've clipped their own wings
&
destroyed each other's halos
with cigarrette ashes and razorblade rust.
Fairies grip&grab the toilet seat
with both bony hands
as they crouch on bruised knees.
Hickeys and [broken] promises
worm their way inside
as I grind up stolen diamonds
with itsy-bitsy polished baby teeth
&
swallow it down with vodka
(for just the hope
that -maybe- a little hint of beauty
could remain inside me for a little while.)
But who am I kidding??
Now yesterday's fun becomes just another line
from another prince charming
who
-reeks-
of that old, familiar
Liar-Breath stench.
Author notes
cliche, muchhhhh?
In a list
- free loves.. • next in list
- paint.[me].poetic • next in list
- Oh Baby Baby;; • next in list
- 4-9-9-6 • next in list
A contest entry
- Abstractttttt.♥ by love tank x.
550 points, ended February 8, 2007, 23 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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Wow.
Beautiful.
You deserved to win gold.
I love this SO much.
You have no idea.
I have no words.
But it's fantastic.
~Slip~
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thank you SO much slip!! <33 ♥
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Cliche? Not at all - very interesting, original and sometimes disturbing (in a good way) imagery.
I got a sense of disillusion and self-distruction from this piece - very powerful.
congrts - well deserved gold!
rachel
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wow, thanks so much rachel!
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you're very welcome sweetie. I've been at your page and see you're 15 - a lot of talent and promise i see in you. I'm adding you to my favs - I sure want to read more of you!
rachel
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You took gold babe. you deserved it you are amazing.
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Not at all clichéd. Perhaps the situation you've described is clichéd of teenaged girls, but the descriptions are amazingly original. I love "fairies grip&grab the toilet seat / with both bony hands /as they crouch on bruised knees."
This is a powerful piece, about what I take to be eating disorders, self-harm and love-that's-gone-wrong. Good luck in the contest!
And just for randomness, upon first reading the title I thought it said 'polished kidneys' for some reason. But you know, I am crazy.
DancingRed. -
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thanks so much for the comment!! I appreciate it ♥
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Wonderfullll!
"as I grind up stolen diamonds
with itsy-bitsy polished baby teeth
&
swallow it down with vodka"
That was amazing! Great job, and thank you for entering<3
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*hugs you to bits*
♥
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"With glitter glazed [over] eyes
and an
I'm-Too-Good-For-You frown."
I like it. You did just what I was hoping for. Thanks for entering, and good luck!
Noise&&Kisses
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have fun juding dolly.
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"Now yesterday's fun becomes just another line
from another prince charming
who
-reeks-
of that old, familiar
Liar-Breath stench. "
Darling.
Crash.
You write WONDERFULLY.
not cliche.
Not at all.
and I love this [and you]
<3!!
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thank you bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbABE.
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Cliche?
Yes, a little, but it's so insanely worded and wonderful that I didn't notice till I read your note. Amazing write.
--Lucas
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thankyou!
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I reall love this...
"as I grind up stolen diamonds
with itsy-bitsy polished baby teeth
&
swallow it down with vodka"
I don't know what, if any, double meaning you were going for there but for me, it brought back memories&visuals of crushing up pills to mix with vodka. You described it perfectly.
l o v e
♥♥♥[ms.oblivion]
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yeah, well I was thinking of how I crush pills and stuff,
and also that the only way I'd be "beautiful inside" would be to put something pretty like diamonds in... =]
I'm glad you picked out that part, cause that's my favorite.
I just don't know if I like the wording....
anyways mucho amore to you.
♥
xoxxx
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*squeeeee*
hehe, okay I know this is a sad piece but a huge smile broke my face as i read it thru hte utter onderfulness of it and my understanding. brilliant.
with angels who've clipped their own wings
&
destroyed each other's halos
with cigarrette ashes and razorblade rust.
Fairies grip&grab the toilet seat
with both bony hands
as they crouch on bruised knees
You continue to amaze me crash, every isngle line is this is wonderful! woop!
*still smiling*
your brilliant
xxxxx
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yay! I'm glad I made you smile Moonshine!
you're fab.
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hey love, cliche is the way to go.
i loved thisss<3333
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heheh =]
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with angels who've clipped their own wings
&
destroyed each other's halos
with cigarrette ashes and razorblade rust.
loved that.
love this.
love you.
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aww
adore the comment
adore your face
adore you.
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unbelievable! You are amazing, I mean it.
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Wow!! completely amazing!! i love all the emotion that you put into your work, no matter what it is. I absoluely loved these parts:
with angels who've clipped their own wings
&
destroyed each other's halos
with cigarrette ashes and razorblade rust.
_and_
Now yesterday's fun becomes just another line
from another prince charming
who
-reeks-
of that old, familiar
Liar-Breath stench.
AMAAAZZZINNG!!!
*MolzAnn*
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thank you babyluffer!!!
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Fairies grip&grab the toilet seat
with both bony hands
as they crouch on bruised knees.
Amazing dollface. as usual.
I luff u ♥
<3 LollY
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xoxxx
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