If there's anything I've learned,
From being friends with you.
I'd say that it would have to be,
That friendship's never really true.
If only I had the courage,
To tell him just how I feel.
I wouldn't have to wish I was in your place,
I could be his for real.
He sits there staring at you,
While you throw him flirty smiles.
I just sit back watching from a distance,
Hurting all the while.
He's the only one I've ever felt sage with,
I've told you so many times.
But still you sit there trying to grasp,
What we both know really should be mine.
I live for just one smile,
And losing that's my biggest fear.
I just can't take seeing him with you,
How I'd kill to be anywhere but here...
Author notes
The hardest thing you'll ever have to do, is watch the one you love...loving someone else
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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That was a great poem. I know that I have felt this way many times before. And I remember all too well just how painful it is. You expressed that very well here. I really enjoyed reading this piece of work. Great job, and I sincerely look forward to reading more of your work in the futur
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10 T's
This is an amazing write. I know this feeling...as do many friends. Sometimes the friendships you have are meant to be for a season, reason, or life. this one looks like a season friendship. or maybe a reason. Maybe their purpose as a friend was to give you the guts to talk to this guy...to allow you to see the way she acts around guys and pick up on things she did around the one guy you like. I duno. I really like it though. the flow just made it all work. And you're very right. your notes...that is the hardest thing to do. But if it's meant to be you and him...things will turn around and become this way. Trust me on THAT one. Great write. WAY powerful.
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You have a good word choice in this piece, put together nicly.. but to me it lacked a little depth... I know how you must feel... describe it! Tear the words out of your heart..
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i know just how you feel, i loved someone who loved someone else and when i told him how i felt he blow me off and now i realize that he wasn't who i thought he was, i hope you have better luck then i did. it hurts so much watching the one you love walk around loving someone else. you feel...empty almost, but i've learned that no matter what happens it will happen, the best of luck and about the friend talk to them maybe they will understand and stop it. i'd love to know how it turns out. best of luck, love will always be around never give up on it, ever.
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that really plainy sucks. your poem discribes exactly how you feel--no lame hidden message. sad, but truthful. maybe the best thing is to just tell the truth. life is short~
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Your poem reflects the true feeling of seeing the one you love love someone else. It's a beautiful write, but I find it sad for you...
My favourite part is :
"He sits there staring at you,
While you throw him flirty smiles.
I just sit back watching from a distance,
Hurting all the while."
I can actually see them sitting there, great job !
I hope for you, that someday he'll see how much you love him and that it will turn out for the best.
Greetz
x
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i liked it
the subject was a little bare, but it did get to the point. too often, people feel the need to over-image these types of poems. your rhymes aren't forced, but the entire scheme is so simple that itd be prety hard to force anything. im not really sure why you put this up for critique. its a commonplace 7 out of 10 type poem that really can't get much better. i like the poem, and i'm usually into simple poems, but only if compunded with something complex in form or a simple scheme with a more layered subjecet. this is all surface. this poem could be much better with a more complex rhyme scheme or a more tightly honed syllable count, but i would recommend just moving on to something a bit more complicated.
again. i liked the poem. dont get me wrong. there just wasn't much to evaluate here.
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Hits close to home
I've felt like this on numerous occasions and I think your poem captures the emotion excellently.
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