Am I ever quite myself
Or am I bits and pieces?
Just pieces of a whole not to be loved
Or hated by the masses?
Have I ever been myself
Completely, fully, truly?
Or pieces of a whole that's never shown
Not yet revealed to anyone?
Will I ever be myself
Absolutely, completely?
Not pieces of the whole I wish I was
But an absolute being?
Author notes
When I wrote this, I was thinking of how people show different parts of themselves to different people. If you ask a friend and a family member to describe you, they most likely won't have the same answer.
A contest entry
- Round 1 of 5 (My second 5-part contest) by Kei-Aira.
300 points, ended February 5, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Just Wow
I am wowed by the wisdom reflected in this short poem!
Being integrated and "absolute being" is the goal of any one who is striving for self realization. We are closest to it as children...and then we strive for it throughout our entire live, fighting a system that tears us apart, into "pieces", on a daily basis.
The title of your poem was perfect...direct and to the point, ahhh, the point...the One, Unity, the Beginning...
I absolutely loved the ending of your poem...it so wonderfully summed it up:
"Will I ever be just me
Absolutely, completely?
Not pieces of the whole I wish I was
But an absolute being?"
Wonderful!
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Wow, thanks so much. That comment reallty means a lot, especially coming from someone as good as you! ^_^
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I totally understand the issue you are presenting here. It is rare that we can show our whole selves to other people, but sometimes you want to be able to be totally open with them.
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I've read the last three poems you've posted and can tell you that in my opinion you handle repetition very very well. It's hard to do it properly because it's often overused. Anyhow, on pieces of a whole: it flows easily, though there's two ponts I'd have a deeper look at: One is the word masses, which soemhow doesn't seem to fit, maybe becuase of the sound of pìeces in the verses above. The secon is the use of the verb to be twice in the last stanza. (be & being).
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Thank you so much, I hadn't even realized I used 'be' twice!
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I forgot to add in my author notes: I haven't edited yet, so if you guys could offer honest constructive crit that would really help me!
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