I awake,
To the ticking of the clock
The gentle falling rain
I feel the pounding of your heart
The softness of your chest,
The warmth of your arms
I taste the hunger of your morning kisses
The salty tang of loving,
On your skin
Light, nudges sleepily thru the lace curtain
Dawn...
Soon you will be...
Gone~
Author notes
Written June 9th, 2003
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 67 of 67
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very cool
very nice and sweet, and it sounds like your lover will be back in the evening...nice snapshot! Oh, and thanx for your nice comment on "Lights Over Manhattan". -
very sweet... i like it
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wistful in a midsummers dream!
I'm inspired & smiling at this!
I did enjoy!
Such summer hopes blowing into the wind!
Thank you for the inspiration!
we..
in this world need more of these thoughts!
Keep penning on my friend!
Bill -
excellent
this is so beautifully sad! but hey, you'll find yours and he'll be better than any of your dreams.
blessed be,
willow -
Sometimes they are much nicer in dreams, they don't fart and barf..
Lovely Susan.. perfect way to wake up..
Barbxx -
excellent
Very nice poem I expecially like the ending rhyme dawn and gone -
I could wake up to this every morning and love it. YOu did a great job on this one Susan. Thanks for sharing it.
Damon D. Brewer -
this poem brings great emotion... first happiness and delight and then surprise and sadness.... the best writes are the ones that move us. great job!
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Oh, how i hate to awaken from that kind of dream! Wish myself/will myself back to sleep...but once you're awake, not much you can do about it...except long for the night when once again, you can close your eyes and be back in the dream...
Very nice!
UB
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as always... awesome... thanks for sharing such images, profound in the shortness of your wording... very great
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ahhhh....that special time between awakening and beginning the day is one of the most special times of the day. The wordless snuggling, touching, carressing, spooning and smiling at each other creates an imtimacy and closeness that can make a smile last all day long. This is a beautiful poem.......:)
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Sentual
This is really a nice piece... Very sentual in its own way, I like it. It paints a really nice picture in your mind as you read it. -
THis is really good! Makes me want to sleep forever so I could be with my dream guy! Just like your poem describes I really like this piece! ::smiles:: This is a really good write! GLad I read it!
With Love.
Lady -
Nicely done Sis.. short yet very very sweet
~GILL~xx -
may or maynot be fiction terrific poem
This is so beautiful and we all need our dreams. The style, the content, flow, images created here all work so well together. The picture you used is just outstanding. We all need dreams to hang onto! Romantic,magically and enchanting--gave me some ideas for mood setting. Thanks 4 sharing, God Bless You
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lovely
The good thing about dream lovers is they can be anything you want them to be, unlike real life where you must adapt to their real personality, looks and feel. I too have dreamed love a time or two and so I can also enjoy reading of your memory of such a dream lover. I like your style and enjoyed the read. -
Talk about leaving and ache in my heart. It's so beautifuly sad. I've been there before. BTW: I loved the picture.
Patti -
this was awesome to read.. I dream of the day that I will wake up next to my new love.
Yvonne:) -
'soon you will be gone,'
*sniffles*
this is touching and SAD!
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aaaahhhh...those phantom lovers of our dreams:) Maybe it is a good thing they are gone at dawn
how would we be able to get anything done otherwise
Reenie
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Ahh you've got to love dream lovers and the total pleasure they can bring
This was lovely -
Wow, I didn't bother to read all the comments lol but I loved the poem. Well done.
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Lovely moment captured in a poem. I miss waking up with someone
there by my side... Hopefully it wont be too much longer now tho.
Thanks for reminding me of what it's like
Jen
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not shabby at all .. my dog howled
wow that was goood ....one time ispent the night with a girl. and i felt like that in the morning when i woke her up with me sensual kisses. -
~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外
Simply beautiful Sis.
Your work is getting better all the time..
(((HUGS)))
Pat
~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外~外 -
Oh honey I have to tell you that I just love this poem keep up the great work because you really got talent I hope to see more of your work as soon as I get a chance to read some more. good luck in whatever you write.
~~~~Maryann~~~~ -
Neutral
Hmmm...An interesting piece it doesn't seem to be lacking in any way from my opinion and since I'm partial to dark poems and love poems this gets bonus points in my book...At any rate it's a rather good poem (now if I didn't always end up saying that...) But yeah keep it up! -
hehe, makes me wanna jump a certain person's bones, lol...i loved this hon. You seem to get more and more excellent each and everyday. I miss you.
Love you lots and lots.
*hugs*
~*Lynn*~ -
this is a wonderful piece i love this is so very much . I really enjoyed this one so very very much i think that you did a grand poem indeed. i thank you so very much for shareing it
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I didn't see that ending coming either, but it fit so well, and worked so well, and the rhyming with it was awesome too:)
so short, sweet and really well written susan:) very nice
kayla* -
Awwww.....Susan!
I didn't see that end coming. Overall, it's a very soft, tender piece, as I've come to expect from you.....I must say I didn't see that sad, sad ending coming. What a turn, and one taken so very quickly. Kinda shocked me.
Wonderful write. I sure hope you feel MUCH better.....and SOON!
~~~~~ Love & Blessings, Janet ~~~~~
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not waking up with my Love, is like a dwindled day
again Bravo hon ,enjoy your works, keep penning *s*
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This has such an etheral quality to it. Morning can be the worst.
Waking up with them next to you ...then they have to go. Or worse..you find it was only a dream..and it was only a wisp...This is just lovely..and a perfect companion for the picture.
L -
wonderful. leaves a residue on my mind. a fading presence.
gRemLin -
excellent work!
Yes....I remember many times when all the love I had was just a lover in a dream. Sad in many ways because those dream lovers seem perfect....no arguing, no differences....after all WE created them. To feel a perfect, tender love. Lying there in their warm embrace, happy, alive, complete. It feels like such a monstrous trick to have played on you when you awake and find it was only a dream. Some of my saddest moments have been those first few seconds realizing she only existed in my mind....and I am still alone. -
Beautifully Romantic!!! ~~~ (applause)!! Excellent writing.
Ending a bit unexpected and sad, but i love the poem. I'm gonna read some more of your work.
Thanks for sharing,
-Brandy-
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o gosh.. so dreamy and romantic.. short and sweet, yet so much content and so many thoughts its truly amazing... i cant wait till me and my g will be able to do that.. sounds so amazing... the picture really added a lot too... complemented the poem very very nicely... wonderful! truly a write of much quality and very pleasing to the senses.. extremely pleasing lol... sounds lie a dreat and amazing time... to be with your one true love... and feel such true and pure emotion.. love is one of God's many gifts to us.. use it wisely! great write!
Dean -
I wake in the drafty woodshed,
Tasting last nights sawdust,
Running my hands lovingly o'or the weed whacker,
Waiting.
With all of my passion for the dawn.
Cause when hes gone.....
Its MY turn!!!!! LOL sorry susan I couldnt stop it. peace sweet heart. friends????? /
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MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOST EXCELLENT GIRLIE. PPF Queen's stamp of approval. Very well written. Fluid. Sweet. Taunting. Very nice. Love it.
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hehe..i like this, it's that bitter sweet feeling you get when you dream about someone you love but then you wake and their not there...great write!
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awww once again you have impressed me so with your words. This is amazing i love it! All your poems are so beautiful i always check for your new works!
Anyway this piece is so sweet in particular!
well done xxx -
It's like something out of a romance novel.
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Ah Susan! I loved this poem - from title up to exit line! And of course: it is no secret that I am in love with Nature - so for me the Dream Lover is the kissing sun ... the early morn ... the lingering dream ... the ticking clock of Time ...
Whether you've intended it or not, I recognized personification between the lines. Also a realization of the fleetingness of everything new and mortal ... a motion towards Dusk.
Thank you Poetess, for the gentleness of your poetry. Yes indeed - thank you for your Susan style ...
Hugs
Myra -
Love it!
Oh! This poem is perfect. It's sweet yet short and possibly the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I love it. it goes in my favorites. Thankyou for the wonderful read.
*Shawna* -
Awww... how tragic? You mean all of that beauty, and it's only an illusion? Or is it more a reference to loving someone and not having them there all of the time? I know the latter quite well, my last girlfriend was always busy with work, and I had a lot of mornings like this.
A beautiful piece of poetry, building slowly (as dreams do) and then just ending. Really is a well worded and arranged piece of poetry. -
You're the first i've read this morn upon awakening..kinda made me a little weepy
a beautiful write.. subtly sad..sensual..
wonderful work
~Pamela -
susan, this is amazing! the imagery you put in this leaves me spellbound! your words leave such wonderful sensual, and loving images within my mind... wow...
blessed be
mike -
no i have to say i dont like the picture.. but i do like the poem.. it feels a little cliched, but i dont really have anything against that, cause i'm sure i am myself, and cause i think cliches are only cliches cause they're good enough to use a lot. but ur phrasing is not cliched at all, and i do like the light nudging thru the curtain.
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=( i hate when people like that leave...sometimes it'd be nice to attach them at the hip!! beautiful as always.
Nyx... -
What a tender moment, Susan. Lying in the arms of the man you love in the early morning... that has to be one of the nicest things in the life.
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Oh this is sweetly sad. Beautiful but sad love poem. That ending is the surprise clincher.
I taste the hunger of your morning kisses
The salty tang of loving,
On your skin
Light, nudges sleepily thru the lace curtain
Dawn...
Soon you will be...
Gone~
Red -
Another beautiful piece, Susan. You're on a roll LOL
~Kathy -
This... is outstanding! Ahhh... the thought "you'll soon be gone" well... nothing can be forever... and some of those nothings come too soon. LOL anyway STUNNING girl! LOVE it! HUGS
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Great
Beautifully penned. Hm.. don't know what to write. Keep up the good work!
~Somber -
what a sensual write,again this way beautiful,I'm just speechless and in awe at the moment,what a picture words do paint
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I agree that you are very talented. Do you write stories? I'm certain that they would be exceptional. You are one of my most favorite poets.
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Susan
This is absolutely Beautiful That pic is soooooooooooo yummy, and fits this poem, perfectly!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the way you ended this poem, it just summed it all up, in classic, "Susan Style"
Love ya,
Karen
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First off this pick was fabulous!!! The poem was stunning and it makes me jealous LOL I want to curl up in those arms too. Such a serene, sensual, beautiful piece hun. Your talent amazes me.
If ya get a chance check out the collab I did with Whonrock, it's posted on his pages. You are so talented I would love to know what you think about it.
Blessed be sweetie
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The lines I identify with are, taste the hunger of your morning kisses. The salty tang of loving" as I have had someone say something similar to me in 1986. Guess we remember things like that. Don't recall hearing from anyone since then. A simple poem with depth. Like it. ET
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Lovely poem! Each line has its own unique beauty! Very nicely done, Sis! Could I borrow your muse, please?
Luv Ya!
< 3 Maureen
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The song Dream Lover came to mind -Susan this created such sad images in my mind. I wish there was something one could say to ease your pain.
Such beautiful words from a very sad lady.
~Von~ -
Now here is a truly mesmerizing image created so perfectly in my mind.I would like to take a moment and truly thank you for bringing such and amazing vision into my mind.I applaud you greatly. This truly is wonderful! So perfect a flow.So sweet, loving, kind, romantic, and tender.And the picture is awesome as well!
Great Write! Keep up the great work! -
The picture adds a special touch to your beautiful words.
It causes me to dream. Amazing poem. Take care, Rick -
Beautiful poem susan.
You do have a most wonderful way with words, sweet as can be this is.
Love it...
Hugs..............~ Ce -
What a perfect picture you paint here......to awake in your lover's arms to the sound of a gentle falling rain has got to be one of the greatest moments we can experience. You have cast a spell with this one, Susan....
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Superb.........wonderful..........
Dawn...
Soon you will be...
Gone~
I love it, I love it, I love it...........
I have two new ones posted today and also one contest....for Minimalism..........thanks for letting me know........great write..
lisa anne -
OH Susan!!! This is beautiful!!!
"* feel the pounding of your heart
The softness of your chest,
The warmth of your arms
I taste the hunger of your morning kisses
The salty tang of loving,
On your skin"*
I love the feelings this poems brings to me!!! Such sweetness! ~Laura
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