Look to heaven, the darkening skies;
Find my face in thunder and rain.
Power of rapture leading you home,
Heating your blood and driving you on.
Whispers of passion, a breath of sweet pain;
Give in to me...and begin again.
I am the demon that haunts your night,
The follower of none that burdens your sight,
A gleam of something more hidden in your eyes.
A promise of evil, a symphony of lies.
Forbidden jealousy and carnal delights,
Mingled with the poison of lust-filled nights.
I am hunger and longing for what cannot be,
A fallen angel's breath, tormented eternity.
Raise your eyes and find me...standing tall, alone.
Reach for me and touch my hand,
A brush of life...then beauty's gone.
Author notes
I chose #5, Dark Love.
=======================================================
Illusion ...Option #1
A dark write about parts of myself that I try to keep under wraps.
A contest entry
- Who are you? by DancingRed.
300 points, ended February 6, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, Love, Fantasy? by --Beautiful--.
550 points, ended February 18, 2007, 31 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - FILL ME WITH DARKNESS! by okadadokie.
450 points, ended February 2, 2007, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything and Everything by Welcome-To-Hell.
700 points, ended February 16, 2007, 54 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I really liked this, dark and twisted-sensual. Also kind of reminds me of lyrics by the Cherry Poppin' Daddies from their song, Here Comes the Snake - "did you god show you the door, I'm here to eat your apple to the core, yeah here comes the snake..." - I don't know why but it does, especially in the second stanza.
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The first two lines were enthralling; I love storms. The rest was dark and sinister, but wonderfully so. Your use of words, your flow, your impressive talent are all so captivating... I never get tired of your wonderful poetry. The ending is so haunting... fascinating write...
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this is a really good dark piece. I really enjoyed it and it's not cliche at all. you did a great job. thank you for entering and good luck to you.
-Vanessa- -
That was simply amazing I cant think of another way to put it wow you rhymed perfectly and the flow was juast awesome this was perfectly penned best of luck in the contest
Bravo -
Simply beautiful dark poem. Sensational, every word I read had me longing for more. Really good poem. Well done. Good luck.
~Oka
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Simply Beautiful
I love this. I had a calm feeling to it but was full of emotion. I want to say thank you for reading my rules you and one of the first. I have so many favorite parts in this i don't know which to say...I really like the line "A promise of evil, a symphony of lies" The symphony of lies is a great line! Thank you for joining my contest and good luck!
--Beautiful-- -
Yes, "I am hunger" is what I intended to write. My proof-reading must not have been as thorough as I imagined. Thank you for the comments.
Edit: I just learned how to edit posted poems a moment ago. Still new at this, so pardon the delay there. -
I love the imagery in the line "A promise of evil, a symphony of lies" - this section is particularly powerful.
The first three lines especially seem quite long, perhaps you'd consider splitting them up into a few more lines?
I think you may have meant 'I am' at the beginning of the last stanza. If so, the phrase 'I am hunger' is a great one.
Thanks for entering!
DancingRed. -
Absolutely wonderful
This poem was quite vivid. I enjoyed the metaphors you used to describe yourself. This was a fantastic poem. Best of luck in the contest.
- Andi
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