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"Ren"

My name is ren
I am five years old
I always follow the rules
and do what I’m told

I’m kind to my parents
And never complain
Even when I’m weak
And in lots of pain

But then I got tired
Always prancing around
Always holding my tears
When I fell to the ground

My parents were worried
When I stopped talking to them
When I stayed in my room
And closed doors on my friends

But they deserve to worry
For being so cruel
For hitting and beating me
For breaking one rule

I walk out of my room
And watch my mom cry
And I stand and stare
With black demon eyes

She looks and asks
“Ren honey what’s wrong?”
I smile and answer
“It was you all along”

I pull out a knife
As my mom starts to scream
My dad comes in
And starts to yell at me

I slice their necks
With the knife that I hold
And the story of their deaths
Will always be retold

I turn the knife to me
And slice my own neck
I fall to the ground
And await my death

At five years old
Ren misbehaved
And now she forever
Lies in her grave
~Kay~

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • ApathysEnemy
    November 9, 2008

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    wow this is very disturbing and well-written. Really dark and twisted but I like it. It was very descriptive and I felt the emotion so good job on that!!


  • okadadokie
    May 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo! This is great. So much untold hatred for this young child's parents. Wicked. Le travail merveilleux. Good luck.

    ~Oka/KC


  • Freakish-Lizzie
    March 2, 2007
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    This is quite a twisted, creul story, at first it took me a while to understand and then by the end I realised, it was such a simple write yet it was filled with so much pain, perhaps adding in some more descriptive words would make it easier to connect with and create some beautiful imagery.


  • RudeGirlxSkaKid
    February 26, 2007
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    This is really twisted, which is why I like it.
    good luck in my contest


  • FearlessChic
    January 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    At first it seemed like just another depressing poem.. but then the whole poem changes. This poem has a twised sickness to it.. yet i love it. I love the way u made it flow, the way u described stuff just enough for me to imagine it, and the way it had an unpredictible ending. You put many emotions in the poem, pain, sadness and hate. Amazing job, your extreamly talented!

1 - 5 of 5