the words falling on deaf ears
overflowing like a watery spout.
and onto the floor,
no not your mind
its your face i adore.
bored and dead in tears
scrambling for and jinxed
with fears.
A long lost thought lingers on
as the rest float up and dispenetrates themselves
as cells, from the atmosphere.
A contest entry
- Prewrite Phenomenon #2 by Ryno.
300 points, ended February 9, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I really enjoyed the first of this poem, but thought its power died down into the middle. I really didn't like the wording for line 4. It's power was good at first, but died down so power wasn't that great along with concept. Flow was okay. Thanks for entering Prewrites, good luck.
~Ryan~
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