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Alice

 
Alice went to wonderland, leaving her problems behind.
 Just trying to escape the deadly daily grind.
Her time whittled away by harsh memories and fears.
Too proud and headstrong to cleanse her pain with tears.
Looking for the answers on the edges of razor blades,
drinking to make her forget all the times she'd been betrayed.
 
Alice fought her broken heart, a tyrannical queen.
Forgetting all the shattered promises she had ever seen.
Letting velvety soft darkness engulf her mind,
abandoning everything that was ever unkind.
Making up stories in her head to help her through the day,
trying to discard depression and disarray.
 
Alice chased broken dreams down forsaken rabbit holes.
Putting too much weight on things out of her control.
 Following the white rabbit down dead ended paths.
Caring too much about petty revenge and wrath.
Doing things that drive her farther down the path she hates.
Her life in an out of control desecrated state.
 

Author notes

This is for The White Rabbit who wanted me to write a poem about Alice in Wonderland. Hope that it is good enough.
Option 2.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • Demmy
    January 6

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    =^.^=

    i really really liked this! i lurv alice in wonderland... especially the cheshire cat =^.^= lol! your poem really paints a sort of a picture in my mind, and seriously relates to the movie.

    an incredible write


  • Heartless Angel
    August 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    LOL. I like the pic. I was going to use that as my "face" for the site, but for some reason I couldn't down load it. Oh well. Now to talk about the poem. This is wonderful (should you pardon the pun, since this is a "Alice in Wonderland" poem) I love the way you make Alice's world of nonsense into a world of hidden meaning and a bit of darkness. This is a masters work and many of the works I plan to read in the "dark faerytales" collection. Bravo on this masterful, splended work.

    Sincerely,
    Lillian Madelin

  • Uniquely-Scarred gold member
    August 2, 2007

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    i can see your style and i like what im seeing, i thought at first sisters grim, ok but you have a winner with this idea of yours, verry cliver
  • Diatribes
    May 31, 2007

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    This reminds me of the p.c. game I played called Alice, very morbid and sinister.
    Great game, great write here too.


  • Mr Lunar Hyde
    March 14, 2007
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    I love dark stories and this was amazing. The flow, imagery, and rhyme were great.

  • SouthernSexGoddess
    March 8, 2007
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    Awesome write kid!

    keep up the awesome work...the poem was so kewl!

  • PlasticPrecious
    March 8, 2007

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    "forgetting all the shattered promises she had ever seen" was my favorite part!
    well written!
    a great read!


  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    February 26, 2007
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    Interesting rewrite of the fairytale and well done

  • Twilight4Eternity
    February 18, 2007

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    The flow is amazing in this. I love how you use the story of Alice in Wonderland to portray so much more. Very well written.

  • Stormy Sky
    February 18, 2007

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    Hi, faerytale princess. I recognized the poem, it's hanging in my locker! XD well, thanks for entering. good write and good luck.

    ~poison

  • Stormy Sky
    January 30, 2007

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    absolutely beautiful

    god. I love your poems about faerytales. They're so....perfect would probably be the word I am looking for. extremely beautiful. good write.

  • The White Rabbit
    January 29, 2007
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    took me down the rabbit hole


  • The White Rabbit
    January 29, 2007

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    yeyyy this was amazing!! I love it!! i'm an alice in wonderland lover, obviously and this was an amazing take on her story. I loved this part the best
    Alice chased broken dreams down forsaken rabbit holes.
    Putting too much weight on things out of her control.
    Following the white rabbit down dead ended paths.
    Caring too much about petty revenge and wrath.
    it just personifies every though I've ever had on alice, her chasing down hopelessly through paths on which she would never find her way back home. marvelouss I'm so glad you wrote suck an amazinggg poem for me. I'm so flattered!!

  • killerxwishes
    January 29, 2007

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    This poem says a lot. I like how you took a common kids story, and compared it to troubled life. Great poem.
1 - 14 of 14