I promised you guys,
and you watched me.
I was so determined to do it,
but it was so hard.
I looked at the piece on my plate,
the calories, the fat, the sugar,
and it made me sick.
I only took one bite.
I threw the rest away,
Blondie saw me do it.
She caught me before my tears fell,
Mimi and Friz not far behind.
They sat me down,
and tried to talk som sense into me,
but I couldn't listen,
I can't listen.
I hate the road I'm on,
it's useless and I know what I'm doing.
But I won't lie,
I can't stop when I want to.
They made me face my bedroom mirror,
and look at myself,
really look at myself,
and found the things that I refuse to accept.
My eyes, my face, my smile, my waist,
the latter is what all of this is about.
I cried and I cried over a broken promise to them and myself,
it was supposed to be a piece of cake.
All because of a stupid piece of cake.
Author notes
This happened at my birthday party. I made a promise to myself and my friends that I was going to eat just ONE small piece of cake and not throw it up. That was my goal. I was excited, it was going to help me get better, but I couldn't do it. I took one bite and I tasted every piece of what was in it, sugar, fat, sodium, calories, calories from fat, etc. and I back out. I'm so sorry guys. Looks like this rounds harder than the others. Please don't hate me for it.
- Cait -
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Aww, Cait, I know you feel like you let yourself, and us down, but you didn't! You took the first step...admitting you have a problem, the second step...trying to eat "the stupid piece of cake", and both you and I know that this is going to be hard for you, but we are all here for you, and you saw that yesterday, as soon as you threw the cake away, I tried to help before you cried, but I couldn't stop it, then when we made you look in the mirror....and made you acutally LOOK, notice all the good things there are about you, that you always overlook. You are beautiful....my favorite stanza:
My eyes, my face, my smile, my waist,
the latter is what all of this is about.
I cried and I cried over a broken promise to them and myself,
it was supposed to be a piece of cake.
And you should be able to eat that stpid cake, because you bought it (for the third year running!!), don't think of it as a broken promise, thing of it as a little bump on the road to rocovery.
I love this piece, it's so personal and I know how tough it is for you, and you write so well on this topic, because it's so close to your heart....great piece, and I'm always here for you.
☼BLONDIE☼
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its tough
its tough for you, you may have lost the battle but you can still win the war, remember that if you ever fail. With me, kylie, and hanna with you, you can fight it, we know you can. Great job cait!
~kenz~
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