Inky blackness blocks the sun-
the raven has returned.
His majesty is beyond compare.
Iridescent feathers gleam
against the shifty glitter
of his yellow, streaming eyes.
He settles on her arm.
She rides a raven-dark horse,
who could come from the Apocalypse:
his eyes are red and fiery,
his nostrils could snort flame.
But he remains still under her hand.
Her gown is raven-elegant,
a flowing, thick black gown.
Sequins sown across the front
catch the raven's miserly eye.
She flows in a raven's treasure hold
and darkly sparkles in the sun.
She is raven-haired, raven-eyed,
her facial bones suggest a raven's beak.
Her face is drawn, beautiful, but sour.
Her fingers glitter with a thousand stolen gems.
Her beady eyes are built to spot
another treasure a thousand yards away.
She is raven-cursed.
Author notes
This reminds me of the Lady with the Green Kirtle from C.S. Lewis' Silver Chair. I suppose I got the inspiration from her.
A contest entry
- Raven --------------- by CarolDesjarlais.
450 points, ended January 31, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
WOW!!! I loved the imagery, flawless flow, word choice, layout and descriptions used in this poem. Wonderful use of assonance and alliteration. Excellent use of the metaphor 'inky blackness' to describe a raven. You are so right about the eyes of this bird. Very recently, I bent down and looked into the eyes of a pigeon...yellow and he rolled them so sweetly, it just touched the strings of my soul and brought a smile to my face. And you are so right about the lovely feathers of the raven. I adore the feathers of the pigeons that visit me daily. Birds are so magical, I could not live without them. I like how you end this poem with "She is raven cursed". Reading about the person you described was so cool because of the way your poem is so cleverly crafted. It is like watching a painting unfold before the eyes or seeing a movie.
Congrats on the Silver trophy!
Charishma R
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Oh, and indeed, did you not paint a poetic master-character in this write. My goodness, every contest I hold, I have such wonderful writers enter. I could only aspire to such. Thank you.
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