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My Fall

Each night falls harder
Than the last,
Harsh with grief,
Stars shine in despair with me.

Crying out to the world,
Tried to speak
And stuttered,
Silenced before I could speak,
Hollow, I lie.
Dead to the world.

Author notes

I wrote this about someone I care who's leaving.

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Comments


  • Kikai Ni
    February 13, 2007
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    Very nice diction

    I loved that you related lies to death. The ending closure was very complete, and I always appreciate that. Also, night's fall and your fall mix well, and you wasted no words. The sorrow of the stars, shared w/ you, makes for a very powerful message. Well done.


  • me steve
    January 28, 2007

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    Great Job

    The imagery of pain is abundantly clear at 15 year of age you write with such a mature hand. I might have said that before however it is true. The heart is a wonderful thing when things are going so great; you know that lovely feeling and then that black horrid day appears. You have captured it very well in the stanza
    Each night falls harder
    Than the last,
    Harsh with grief,
    Stars shine in despair with me.
    A great write my friend great keep up the good work for I know that God is a great God and he will bless you. Keep safe STEVE


  • Jeb
    January 27, 2007

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    Good write!

    I can totally relate to the feelings and emotions you expressed so well here. I love the ending, it describes exactly how I so often feel! Kudos to you!