Raise the sheets
and we’ll sail around
the coves at night,
our hearts on fire
for the treasures of desire.
The tops of the trees growl
the wind from the sea,
the tiny light asleep.
The captain sharpens his
sword
with the light of the moon
sailing all around the world.
What would they say
if they knew
about these pirates
in the dark
singing their bawdy songs
opening chests with rusty keys
chasing children through the winding streets
of quiet harbour towns
just before dawn,
when the dreams are strong
the sea breeze in the trees
while the tiny light sleeps,
“wake”” the children cry
there are dusty things
clinging to the leaves
the street lights weave
there are awful men who shout
and wave their rusty keys about,
yet still the tiny light sleeps,
changing change will never do
and nothing much
remains the same
save the captain
sharpening his sword
with the light of the silvery moon.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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why am i always drawn to this?
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Here's to Outcasts and Pirates.
"Love is a spirit all compact of fire"
William Shakespeare
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x
(also it says pirates and legends..) -
Interesting .
This is interesting, even though I am not sure just what it pertains to. I seem to be stumped by this however the poem flows well and I could picture the captain sharpening his sword by the light of the moon. As well as the children seeking help for what they were afraid of in the dark. This is well written and I found it enjoyable to read.
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excellent imagery
this is my favorite part
Raise the sheets
and we’ll sail around
the coves at night,
our hearts on fire
for the treasures of desire.
I can't really see a part that i don't like or sounds awkward but need to check capitalization an punctuation
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beautiful!!!my hat's raised to you!!!this is beautifully written; the flow is immaculate and the diction perfect!!great work here!!!beautiful!!!
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Wow, this was an amazing poem, it had a wonderful flow, and the way you cut it into stanza's was perfect! It really brought a dreamy way to it, and yet mysterious and strange, the poem was pulling you into it's own world of fantasy and everything
I love the first stanza it was a great itroduction for the poem, a great start!
well all over wonderful poem!
stephanie =] -
i pretty much have a tinkerbell fetish.. i had to read this poem!
the overall tone is so interesting, with the imagery carrying it really well. it is so magical, and i love it!
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What a refreshing adventure you depict! I feel weight of adulthood lifting from me as I read this. Great poem.
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hmm...interesting ... .really interesting ..
i like ur style of writing !!!
NICE WORk!!!
KEEP IT UP !!!!
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Very good
I like your poetry for it gives a fresh look of a time gone and the way in which you tell it gives it life once again
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really good job
i was drawn by the title
as in, tinkerbell, peter pan, 1956
so was curious to access your work
each time i reread it, it enchances the bright, positive feelings of childhood, save for reality
as in, children live a carefree existence
albeit, school, friends, family,
he / she is not a "pirate"
who has responsibily, work, relationships (good or bad), no balancing of the checking account, etc
"Raise the sheets
and we’ll sail around"
and
"The tops of the trees growl
the wind from the sea,"
reminds of a rainy day, we would make a tent of sorts with the bedsheets, as the wind, rain pitter pattered our window
"The captain sharpens his sword
with the light of the moon
sailing all around the world." is a reference that as children play, dad, mom, gets ready to go to work, shopping, etc, essentially makes plans for the next day
as in "sharpens his sword", etc
i just love the "rusty keys" line, it is superb hyperbole in action, an extradinary literary talent you very capably possess
"What would they say
if they knew
about these pirates
in the dark
singing their bawdy songs
opening chests with rusty keys
chasing children through the winding streets
of quiet harbour towns
just before dawn,
when the dreams are strong
the sea breeze in the trees
while the tiny light sleeps,"
ah, a sort of christmas,
"while sugar plums danced thru their heads
the essence of childhood
snug, tight in their bed,
but, walk outside, the world goes on 24 / 7
and bad the priates, big bad wolf is out there
doesn't matter if the setting is a castle in monaco or the the backstreets of bangladesh
"changing change will never do"
a brilliant line depicting extreme contrast
without the postive / negative denotation
as in, hot / cold, far / near, etc
changing change is essentially "pure change"
you want to change something, ok
you want to change the way you change something, ok
but, it is still CHANGE
brillant, masterful, and suspenseful
did i forget, fun to read
finally, i'm not one to "change" a literary piece of offer ways to change it, words, rhyme, etc
you created a work at a certain time as an artist
let it stand on its own two feet
as this one does, obviously, very well on its own
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good...i like it.nice job.like how it goes.very different from other peoples writes....but thats a......good thing!nice job.keep up the good work.
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I feel a bit bad now, because you spent points on me reading this, but I can't offer any critizism, except saying: Amazing!
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Peter Pan is my favourite disney classic for the mere reason that I hate change and never really wanted to grow up, this poem has captured the same feeling that lies inside of me. Amazing!
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well it's different, but I still enjoyed it. I really liked the way you potrayed it. The imagery was well thought out too.
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The one word line of "sword" throws me off a bit but that's minor as this is a delightful read.
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I am in love with Tinkerbell and have been since I was 4 years old. I love the way you wrote this poem and that fact that you chose Peter Pan. Thank you for a great write.
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yet still the tiny light sleeps,
changing change will never do
and nothing much
remains the same
I love that! I love all of this! I'm so proud of this poem for some reason and I didn't even write it! Its amazing.
I congratulate you.
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Peter Pan is awesome...you portray the scene so well..
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OMG! I love this poem. I'm thinking of doing a Peter Pan story and i could use this. It's so fits perfectly into what i want to write it's crazy. I guess it's written from a bit more of a more grown up point of view to some commentors but i think it's just find. Don't change. Keep up the good work.
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pretty good poem...however the average reader might get lost...i'm a poet myself so i can get it...sometime one must use a different line meter to deliver the final touches of a poem...a practice i use is to write the poem as a paragraph then use longer lines and then shorter lines...
No pawn intended overall a good write...i look forward to reading more of your work... -
wow
very nice write, very descriptive, and a great subject! I could really see what you were saying, it kind of reminded me of the scene from Pirates Of The Carribean when they're raiding the town and whatnot. haha yeah..good write though, keep it up! -
I went out in a pirate ship on my birthday.
Never been sure if I want to be Peter Pan or a pirate. I suppose all lost boys want to be pirates really. And all lost boys wish the tiny light would shine for them all the time the stone rasps on the sword and the rusty keys rattle.
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I bought some Peter Pan peanut butter just a few days ago.
This is my new favorite Lute Poem. When you were little did you pretend to fly? I did. And I used to imagine that if I kept trying and believing really really hard, one day when I jumped from the top rung of the metal slide in my backyard, I'd not land on my ass but suddenly be soaring over Lake Hiawatha and up to the top of the tree in the Carhart's yard next door where the little robins eggs used to fall out when the wind blew really hard. And I'd hold the little egg and fly it back up even though my mom told me "once you touch an egg that has fallen from the nest Lisa the mother will not take it back." And I don't even know if that is true or not cause quite frankly my Mother really isn't the Naturey-type. And then, when I was home sick from school and got to watch Bewitched re-runs, I used to feel quite certain that if I wiggled my nose long and hard like Tabitha my room would automatically be clean. And then, I used to dream about living in Jeannie's bottle. And of course have her powers too but mostly I wanted to live in that little bottle with the couch that went all around.
And in Disney World the Peter Pan ride is still my all time favorite. When the pirate ship takes off and you fly over London no matter what -- how many times, how old, I love it every single time.
There. An Opus of nothingness certainly not equal to your Bloomian output but hell, I'm Lisa.
You should probably write some more as well. (note: 3 stars).
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Nice. I'm a tinkerbell lover myself, and I liked how you didn't directly say tinkerbell or fairy. I liked how you used light as a symbol for her. Nice set up, and a sad tale of tinkerbell with love and giggles, the whtie rabbit
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