Sorrow drips from the sky
My hopes
Dreams
All washed away
You haunt
Deceive
After all these years
Your hold over me remains
My screams linger in the dark
Waiting to be caught
Carried away by hope
But they cover me like a cloak
As sorrow washes over
I am despair
Devoid of light
Lost to myself
Lost because of a fool
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
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Amazing
I have felt these feelings, I have said these words, aloud, and in my mind,, never could put them all together as you have. Gives me shivers just reading them, wonderful,amazing,
Victoria
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Well thanks much. I am glad that you liked it.
Despair
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Despair....we know the words
We all know the words, but you've put them into something we can use, read, learn and understand. Wonderful writings...
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Thanks wolf!! 
Despair
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Hi there, thanx for your comments, I love your work, this poem Because of a fool is great i feel i can connect to it also. Keep up the good work. xx
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Thank you for the comment. Always appreciated.
Despair
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That was cool nice poem and background kinda creepy but cool noone the less you might be a professional poet someday( smiles and winks).
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Thanks.
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I think we've all been there at some point in our lives, that is if we've truly lived. I've been lost because of a fool many times, usually the fool was me.
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I agree. Thank you so much for the comment. I appreciate it.
Despair
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very very good!!!
I really truly loved it! The first line is a great opening line, it sets mood for the entire poem, and you did a GREAT job on it. Also i like it how you carried the feeling of unrest throughout the poem, it helped to point out the point. You did great!!!!!
CPT
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Thanks again. Funny how one person can change your whole life.
Despair
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My favourite part is the first two lines of the second stanza, it shows emptyness and feelings of being alone, it reminds me of my own feelings i hav sometimes
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Thank you so much for the comment!! I appreciate it.
Despair
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wow i really liked this poem, it is very deep and emotive and i like that in a peice. thanks for my comment also
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. I appreciate it.
Despair
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I like this piece, it has a good rythmn and flow (is the proper word for that meter?). The feeling comes through well also.
And I like the theme; the idea that damage can be done through ignorance
keep it up
JC
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Thanks. I was reveling in the past when I wrote this. I appreciate you reading and commenting as always.
Despair
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Very good
To me, this speaks of some form of abuse. Mental, emotional perhaps? Hopefully not physical. Though I know that the others can affect some one just as much as physical. This is wonderfully made and strong. Glad I clicked on this. Thank you for sharing. -
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Thanks much. You were right, more about mental abuse then anything. Thanks for reading and commenting. I do appreciate it.
Despair
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This is a great poem, I love the darkness in it.
-Dante
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very good ! been there done that,i can relate to this poem
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I think that this is a great poem. lol Dont really know what to say.
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I am just happy that you read and commented. Thanks much. I have been lazy and need to get to writing more!!
Despair
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Deep words that flow well. I am dissappointed at my own inability to make connections at the moment and look forward to reading this again when I'm better able to experience it
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lol not a problem. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Wow, what do you say about a piece that someone you've never met writes and yet a reflection of your past is felt when you read it, the feelings all come back and i'm glad there are people like you with such talent that you can put the raw emotions into words.
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Thank you so much. I am sad to know you could identify but also glad.
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Very Strong
emotions here, Despair. I do hope this is not about you. No one person is worth losing your soul over. If they care for you, they would never put you in such a state. No, Despair, if this is about you, kick this fool to the curb and let the bus take care of the rest.
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Thank you for the comment. This was about an old fool that I did kick to the curb. I think the bus did take care of him which is great. lol
Despair
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such powerul emotion with so little words. showing powers of another over you and crushing th very essence of your being. a very sad and dark image. light just seems darkness for you have nothing but a death grip on your soul. good poem.
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This was quite a wonderful comment and I feel honored for you to say all of that about my piece. Thank you so much!!!
Despair
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Your poems are very deep. I love it. Your very goo!
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Thank you so much. That is so sweet of you.
Despair
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wonderful
i wanted to let you know this is a great write i really relate to this piece very much so keep the great work up
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I think I replied to you, but my system is being wonky, so if I didnt tell you thank you I tell you know. Thank you very much for the comment.
Despair
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Wow
Very deep. I was expecting less out of a short poem, but, great things come in small packages do they not?
I love the way you worded many of these lines. Especially
"Waiting to be caught
Carried away by hope
But they cover me like a cloak"
All in all this is an excellent write. I love the way you drove it home . The last line leaves a lingering impression on the reader, something that makes me want more.
Great job!
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Very dark and sweet at the same time... I like it and you did a nice job on it.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Despair
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sweet I really like this one.. reads so fluently.. And I can find a small piece of myself in it.. written with true emotion
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Despair
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You construct some great ideas (for example, in the lines "My screams linger in the dark / Waiting to be caught") and I think you've communicated a sense of deep emotional pain that is really hard to put into words. Probably you have not conveyed exactly what you felt (feelings are, after all, incommunicable, only capable of being incited or hinted at) but what your poem does transmit is enough to send a shiver up my spine. A suggestion on my part might be to use some punctuation, just to perhaps further affect the reading experience; it was hard to tell when to stop and pause in the poem. Nonetheless, your poem is effective and vivid. Keep up the sad work!
Corey
*** Poets don't feel; we are Feeling itself *** -
WOW now your realy good and i would realy
like to be able to write like you have done
with this piece you write the way i feel and the background i like the background you have done well with this one
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oh wow this was very powerful it seemed kinda opressive too I think thats the right word lol I like the first 2 lines in your last stanza the most they really stick out
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the sad thing is it probably
doesn't have to be this way -
I love this poem and how you really can express such an emotion, it would take me forever to come up with a poem as deep as this but even then I don't think i'd even be close.
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Thank you so much for the wonderful comment. I really appreciate it.
Despair
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that's so true and honest.girl you got some real talent.keep wrighting, i love it.my fav part is 'my screams..."i like that whole paragraph thingamajig..lol..
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Thanks. You rock.
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i don't know what it is i can say that i already haven't.. i am your biggest fan, you never cease to amaze me.. the ending of this hit me hard, i feel the exact same way you do.. makes me hate life even more actually, just thinking about how cruel people really can be.. amazing work my dear sister.. bravo!
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Thanks darlin. Your the best.
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Why is it that we all must suffer at least one soul shattering relationship before we can find someone who makes us feel good about ourselves? Your poem struck me because I allowed a fool to damage my self-esteem and it took a caring man to give me back myself. BTW deceive is a typo you might want to change. Thank you for contacting me and I will read more of your poems.
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Inspiring
I think your poem wonderfully portrays the sorry state that one can end up in if one incorporates another person into one's personal identity and then loses that person. I love the ambiguity of the identity of the "fool"!!
Great inspiration for trying to maintain healthy relationships. -
Hauntingly Beautiful
This is certainly going to haunt me for many a day to come, I can safely say that. The beginning stanza actually had a conjugation for me to Evanescence, but in my world, this is a good thing. Kudos. -
Love it
I loved the rhythm in this poem (at least the one i'm hearing).
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Well I am glad that you are hearing a good rhythm. I appreciate it very much.
Despair
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Hey there, returning the favour
I like the shape and the slow pace in this, it's got a bit of a late-at-night insomniac feel to it. -
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Thanks Hedgie. I am glad you enjoyed it. I do have problems sleeping.
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damn cool
Number One: you rock, as always. Number Two: I'm feeling strangely protective and want to destroy the half-ass entity that has made you feel this way. But them I remember that as writers, while we do write what we know, we also synthesize new things out of our experiences. So then I figure you watched half an episode of a soap opera one day and "felt her pain". How democratic of you!
ps
I'm cold; that's a cloak I'd gladly take.
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ya a new poem! and one i so relate to i loved the haunting vibe i got from reading this. "My screams linger in the dark Waiting to be caught" love those lines!
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Thanks hun. You rock.
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this was wonderful!! bravo! i really thought you did a wonderful job with the flow and wording!
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Thanks hunni. I dont think this one is being recieved very well, but it was something I needed to write. I am glad you liked it at least.
Despair
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