I am a May baby, naturally stubborn am told
But you are a September baby, beautiful from birth
Healthy and pleasant to look at
If only I could see you
We thought God saw our impatience
And decided to send you to us
Two months before you were due
But even though we were a bit worried
You proved us wrong
Your chubby cheeks and beautiful smile
Saw you through
And if we ever had a healthy baby contest,
You know you were a winner.
Now two years have gone by
And your mummy is still lost
She cannot bring herself to terms with you gone,
And we all miss you terribly
We miss your bubble
The chuckles that melted our hearts,
And made everything else look trivial.
And the nights you kept us awake,
That was demanding....but never begrudging
Because it meant spending more time together.
Sometimes,
I think God was unfair,
Because you should have grown up
And be able to say 'mama'
Or get to know her at least
But at five months?
Was that not too soon,
Too fast........I mean
Too brief....
I wish you were here everyday
Because the sight of you,
Always broke my heart
But I thank God,
Because you were like a breathe of fresh air.
And in my heart
You live forever...........Hazel
A contest entry
- Options for all you poetic people!!! by moment liver.
675 points, ended June 6, 2007, 66 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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i am so sorry for this...this was very deep and personal and brought tears to my eyes. i have been trying to have a baby for awhile and have had a miscarriage which hurts like hell, but i cannot imagine having something like this happen to me. and it is so sad when it is a baby or child that is lost, someone who never got to experience all that life has to offer. words cannot describe how sorry i am for your loss.
~bee
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I am so sorry for your loss. It is always sad to loose a loved one, but you are right - it just doesn't seem fair when it's a little baby.
The lines,"Because you should have grown up
And be able to say 'mama'", really got me... that's where I lost it in this poem and just let the tears come. -
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Thanks a lot. I'm glad to have people like you at AP.
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(i am so sorry, I read the poem and not your other comments until mine was posted. She will call you "aunty!" then. I try to write before i read other comments because I want to be able to expand on what the poetry made me feel first. In this case, i wish I had done the opposite. Please accept my apology. Still a exquisite piece. ~Shella
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No problem dear, she was like a daughter to me. Thanks for taking some time to read it.
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I had to read this a few times, the tears kept getting in my way. I can feel your pain within the deepest depths of my heart. As a mother of triplet boys myself, I can't even imagine. I am so very sorry for your loss.
The line:
If only I could see you
says so very much. More than words can describe, more than tears can cleanse. You will see her again. I bet when you do, she will be smiling, and she will know you and call you "mama".
This is vibrant with emotion and explosive in memory. Well done dear poet, well done!
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That was very beautiful and very sad. I liked it. It is sad when a baby dies to soon, but that is the wisdom of God, who surely has His reasons.
Thank you for sharing this piece with us, her name was "Hazel" that is a very cute name.
Those who pass live forever in our hearts, and the simplest things remind us of them.
Keep on writing,
Nooni
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Thanks so much for your comment,it was heartfelt.
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Intense and deep and writhing in the emotinos of your loss. this is one subject I can share empathy in, several different ways!! (feel free to Im me if you wish to share stories on this)
The write generally flows well, with just a few iffy spots, including your choice of ellipticals. I know we often write what we feel and to hell with the formalities, but I think this one would flow much better with the smallest polishing, but this is just a thought!! Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Peg
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oh my god. this is beond an amazing poem. i know some what of how you feel i lost a baby sister. her name was karlie.some times i wonder if thier is a god. but you know hes there if you believe and im sure hazel is in a better place now. and yes she will always be in your heart. i love the last part:"I wish you were here everyday
Because the sight of you,
Always broke my heart
But I thank God,
Because you were like a breathe of fresh air.
And in my heart
You live forever...........Hazel"
it was truely a magnificent poem. thank you for shareing it. amzaing write.
torn-apart-angel
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Thanks so much for your encouraging words. Writing about it, just like talking about it really helps. I really appreciate having you to share this with.
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You brought tears to my eyes because of the depth of emotion you write with. I'm so sorry about your niece. I know from personal experience that writing about it makes me feel soothed. You have an amazing gift.
Melissa -
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Thanks so much for feeling me and for your kind comment. I keep the fond memories of my niece in my heart and I never wish to forget the joy she brought when she was alive.
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thats so sad
im sorry
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I'm very sorry for your loss. Your story caused me to smile, cry, to feel both overwhelming emotions at the same time. To know that someone cared so much and carries on the life story of a little baby such as your niece. It's very touching and sad. Just know she's surely in a better place and she's all better. You don't have to worry about her, she's taken care of. Again, sorry for your loss. Your piece about her was however very heart-warming and moving. God Bless.
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Thanks a lot...for feeling my pain and reading my pain. That baby was just an angel.
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"Don't complain about getting older. Think about all those who are denied the prvilege." -Unknown
Oh, my goodness... You broke my heart! It is always tragic when something so tragic happens to such a young person, but I guess it goes to show that nothing in this life should be taken for granted. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
God Bless,
Laura
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Thanks for entering. This poem has all the emotional content I was looking for - I hope writing it helped you some. This is very touching and the straight-forward style helps the readers understand more exactly what happened and how. However, as a poem entered into my contest it breaks too rules - it is longer than 15 lines and it isn't that metaphorical. It does have some good phrases though, I thought the beginning was particularly beautiful and it is a delicate poem. Thank you for sharing your feelings.
~Diana -
This has left me in tears. What a heart wrenching write, so full of sincere and powerful emotion... x God bless and best of luck to you in this contest... x Butterfly.
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Thank you for the comment.It's exactly how I feel.
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