a used dream by astralshepherd at All poetry

i      dream
          of
killing    myself,
often
        but am so inept,
i awaken
       to find
i am
           still
alive         and
i have          done
this dream
          a thousand
times in hundreds of ways
always with
groundhog day results.

i
have
       become
              used
to   the idea,
the feeling
as    i
       die
again    each night
hoping
   to get it   right
just   one more   time.

                 ~r.

Please tell me what you think

Comments

1 - 13 of 13

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
acoustical
February 12, 2007
Edit | Reply

You've stunned me
I really love this, teh way you portray teh words in that format is cool, it makes me pay attention. I've also had those dreams.. I also adore the refference to groundhog day because I know exactly what you're talking about. Your last line is impenitrable. We all wish we could get it right...
Whoochi
January 31, 2007

Edit | Reply

wow...so many people can relate to this poem..my question is Who has NOT had this dream??? Life exists only as we know it....Great job!
JT Sammer
January 29, 2007

Edit | Reply

Never Seen Anything Like It
Holy cow...words have left my mouth, my fingers can't find the keys properly to say all that the poem drove into me. Excellent write is all I can say yet it doesn't seem enough...Amazing!
M.Antoinette
January 29, 2007

Edit | Reply

Excellent Flow !!!
I like the way you wrote this. It makes me think of water flowing on top of, around, and underneath smooth rocks in a stream. As for the feelings It must be a freezing cold stream. This is so sad to me. It's good you write about days like this because I know it helps with your feelings. But it's a sad place. Don't stay there too long friend. The sun will come out soon and heat the stream.
Six of One
January 29, 2007

Edit | Reply

Prophetic
Dearest R, again you have caved in my heart with this piece.I tried it once and didn't succeed,but I really thought I got it right.I'll be back on AP again hopefully soon.I'm in councelling (therapy) and it is helping me so much in ways I never thought possible.I am learning to love myself, the little girl inside that was abused and torn apart by ignorance.I am AWARE of her now and I am stepping forward to protect her (I always stood up for those who could not do so for themselves) and I am more than happy to do so for them, but I will stand up also for her now. It has taken me a while to even READ poetry never mind WRITE it. It hurts, you know? I love your poetry dear Richard and pray you will go on touching peoples lives as you have touched mine. You inspire me with your motivation and zeal for language and there is nothing but thanksgiving on my lips for you. May God Keep you Always, Much Love and God Bless you. Marian. XXXXX
- astralshepherd
  January 29, 2007
  Edit | Reply
  
  thank you so much, Marian, i do so understand the pain at reading certain poems and may your healing process continue to bear fruit.
myrataal
January 27, 2007

Edit | Reply

Dearest Poet
you write with a special voice. A voice that echoes so many voices. Is every single night not dying into the Unknown? And is awakening not a precious gift? Die into your dreams of being and incapabilities and grow towards the dawn of acceptance and rebirth ...

Very interesting way in which you structured this.

Well done, my friend.

Love
Myra
Touchof1der
January 26, 2007

Edit | Reply

I know the dream and have made the attempts and on good days I can tell you that life is so precious and truly worth the perils and passages we travel through, but on a bad day... well, I probably wouldn't have much to say at all as I tend to hibernate and shut myself off from people. I become so absorbed in spiraling through an abyss that I really can't stand being around others, listening to their chit chat and laughter as if everything is okay when for me, it is anything but! I won't tell you that crawling out of the pit is easy because we both know better. There have been a few times when it took me weeks to get a grasp of that elusive thing we call "hope" and hold on tight enough to crawl my way out. Even though I have some really awesome days and I know I have one of the greatest support systems in my husband, my family and my children... I still have such days and thoughts and even attempts. The last one being in August 2006. If you fail, trust me, activated charcoal does NOT taste like blackberries! There are days I do NOT want to be here, but for some reason I am and I have no idea why. In every attempt I have made, I was alone, I contacted no one, never made my plans known and on a few occasions was even home alone and had "unexpected" company come in and find me, one time I wasn't even in the house... I laid down on a chaise in the backyard! Even after all of that, do I still have those thoughts now and then... I'm afraid so. But I also know that it's a sickness caused by some "misfiring", if you will, within my own thought process. Even with the help of medication, taken on a regular basis, the demons find a way in now and again. This really hits close to my heart Richard and all I can really say is that I DO know how you feel.
♥ Touchof1der
ShesaDangertoHerself
January 26, 2007
Edit | Reply

I really like the broken style of this, I knoe the dream, I kno the feeling
MagicLady
January 26, 2007
Edit | Reply

Nothing I can write to describe how this makes me feel, so take this:
marc creamore
January 26, 2007
Edit | Reply

Richard . . . loved the flow of this piece, much music inside the words . . .
CrimsonxxMachete
January 26, 2007

Edit | Reply

Ooooh Great job here. Flowing and I liked how you structured this. Great job. I liked the last part: "To get it right just one more time" This I can really relate to...Or I used to could. This was great. Good job.
Love,
marisa