She cries with eyes wide open, says her goodbyes,
My emotions rise as I say mine, ending a time built on lies,
My heart flies as I stare at the sky, she leaves and a part of me dies,
Her friend rings and tries, but doesn't know where her loyalties lie,
I wait for a while, good and bad times jumbled in one pile,
She leaves, neither of our goals achieved, and I'm left bereaved,
She deceived, left me screaming, heart teeming with dead leaves, and buried under grief,
I couldn't see, we believed that only love was needed,
In reality it was more than one deed, that was the key to our defeat,
I sleep, I dream, and somewhere deep,
Do I feel relieved?
Any constructive criticism would be great
Comments
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I sleep, I dream, and somewhere deep,
Do I feel relieved?
I can't even express how poignant these lines are. there is no better way I could imagine to express the MYSTERIES of our love. Indeed very thought provoking and touchy work is here... -
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Thanks for the feedback!
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great write poet
thoughts from the heart and a great picture panted in my head of a friend and a lover lost at once.
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Thanks for the comment! I actually meant this as the loss of a lover, but it could be taken as the loss of a friend as well.
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wow!! thats really good...the emotions that are raging inside!! a breakup or a friendship gone sour!! intense!! and in such few words!!
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Thanks, nice to see you found it intense!
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