Crisp lemon scent drift pass
fluffs of cotton from washed linen
hanging from a laundry line—
A rooster’s cry prompts the
bellowing of an old bull strapped to a plowing cart—
A group of farmers herd the dirty ducks
into the fenced ponds, careful to avoid
the piles of droppings from the wandering dogs
that roam across the mountains—
Where large monuments of gravestones
whisper into the morning breeze
and catching the tide of newly lit incenses,
sweep into the air
of a glorious spring day.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Good poem, great imagery.
thanks for entering -
I would consider removing 'along with' - without it the flow is smoother and since you are continuing the same thought you really don't need the excess words.
Its nicely done, your imagery is strong but at the end I felt a bit let down. I understand that you are taking us along a journey but it almost ends abruptly.
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Unique, ur own as is apparent thanks for entering...i smell straw..no im serious i do thats creepy
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Nice write. Thank you for entering! Good luck
Love always,
~GC -
Though well written as a poem,not enough deep imagery, please remember that i am trying to find inspiration to paint. thank you for entering.
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great imagery
excellent write with vivid imagery and metaphor...
TY for sharing and best wishes!
Lynda
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Very well done! Thank you so much for sharing and for being a part of the contest! We wish you all the best!
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Beautiful imagery very well penned and the flow is right on wonderful job best of luck in the contest
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