A razor blade is f\a/l\l/i\n/g,
Falling down on my delicate skin.
Just a small scratch,
That's all I intend,
But the blade just stays.
I'm feeling f a i n t,
As the blood pours out,
As the room starts s)p(i)n(n)i(n)g(,
And I colapse in a heap.
I wake up, the lights are blinding,
I shield my eyes and look down.
The bloody crust that covers my skin,
And the pain I love so has r'e,t'u,r'n,e'd
Author notes
Don't know if this is what you were looking for. If not, let me know and I'll delete it.
x x
A contest entry
- Blasphemous Rumours by Exodus.
500 points, ended February 5, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmm in a way I can agree with Another Conciousnes and in another I can completely disagree with them. I take it each symbol used to break the word up is selected for a reason, if you have time could you let me know what it is (I like knowing everything about a poem that I can).
But as far as cutting poems go it was rather wonderful. I've read so many completely horrible ones full of so many "crimson rains" and "scarlet tears" I thought I'd start dreaming about the damn words.
Thankyou for another lovely piece
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There's something about breaking words up with symbols (excluding dashes or hyphens) that I don't really like. But barring that, this was a good poem.
Keep writing.
another conciousnes -
Nice poem! hehe
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