Man can navigate across the oceans
But cannot touch it's floor.
The width poses no problem
Only the darkness that has remained
Totally unexplored.
So why concern yourself
With extending your journey,
Before you reach that port.
When there is so much beneath
You're still utterly unsure
Of what it holds in it's caverns
Locked away from eyes.
Hidden from theories,
Masked from facts.
Everything there simply is
Waiting to be discovered
Patient for you,
To dive deep and look
Within so that instead
Of trying to stand still upon
The surface, in order to
Postpone the end of the journey,
Try going down.
Beneath the waves of simple life
And see what is contained
In your watery deep.
Author notes
11)It is not length of life, but depth of life.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
A contest entry
- Quotes about life.... by A Silent Cry.
600 points, ended February 13, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I just want your personal best. by shades of gray.
900 points, ended February 20, 2007, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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It's so true.
I really liked this, the whole idea and the quote obviously that you derived it from, your poem suited it very well.
There's so much more we could add to life if we wanted to, if we just went out and questioned everything and tried every possible thing that we could even imagine, always wanting to do more, to know more.
Our lives should be like an ocean, vast and ever-changing.
Thanks for taking the time to enter! I really enjoyed this, it was well written, very good.. Best of luck in the contest! Sorry about how long it took for me to comment.
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Wonderful subject and I loved the flow, until the last stanza. You seemed to change midstream ( pun intended ) and lost the tempo here. I see from earlier comments that you edited the ending of this, and I like it this way.
Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors.
Peg
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I love the subject of this poem! I really like the the first 12 lines - and of that the first 2 are REALLY good!
I think, "Postpone the end of the journey, Try going down.", could have been the best possible ending.
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Great write, but it did seem a little choppy and hard to follow. There were times I had to go back and reread it so it would make sense. But other than that a great write and thanks for entering. Good luck.
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ooo.... i really liked this poem. I think it has a great message, and it's true that so much of the time we forget that there is a vast ocean of unexplored secrets beneath out vessel that we never can seem to find time to explore. I think that the ocean and ships are some of the best metaphores for life and the road of life and all of that sort of thing because, at least in my opinion, it draws such a close parallel. Anyways, I thought you did an outstanding job with this piece, something that makes you think and doesn't make you want to go cut yourself or something. Because heaven knows we have enough of that stuff here. Sorry, I'm rambling. Awesome job!
~darkest~
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I think it really fits the quote intended for the write. It's an amazing outlook on life and its experiences, the things we know are out there and the rocks left unturned. It's very interesting and it really makes the reader's mind tick away in imagining what could be in the beyond. Very awesome. I really like it.
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Deep!
This was a very deep and thought provoking write.
The mysteries of life are infinate.
I believing your take on life and all its
mysteries is a good one. Experiencing life is
by far the best way to understand it.
Very well written with a good message -
A very thought provoking poem. Life has a way of luring us to the far. Sometimes we need to close our eyes for the journey. Not letting the glimmer of distance drag us to it. nice write.
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Hi, very true, funny how diverse man is, some one can read like a book, others you never get to know in a life time, then their are the chamilions who are false as Juda, all the best in the comp. I enjoyed very much,Di
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excellent
I enjoyed the content...deep and insightful. I found the rhythm smooth and easy to read. You demonstrate some excellent word choices, used alliteration, (utterly unsure), combining assonance, which to my mind was very effective and delightful to my ear! -
i love it
its very deep and it has a nice flow to it
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