gaze into my soul
give credence to my mind
simple view with no control
see my world refined
pools of wonder in my soul
reality of life unwind
love will now extol
with malice now entwined
amazing beauty shines
into the sea green depths
wonder now at these signs
order up your death
do you see the world unfold
or do you see it crumble
oh what judgments do you behold
can you feel the rumble
touch my hand and read my mind
life force I do impart
so much time to be maligned
hear my hearts own thoughts
Author notes
troyias
Valeire Peterson Brown
In a list
A contest entry
- The Factor Finals Round 8 by Frodofan.
425 points, ended February 3, 2007, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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This is good... a lot about today and its society. I read a lot of poems like this on here... but this one was good! Rock on! xoxo Meg
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Thank you. so glad you like it.
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I love the border/background, I think it works really well with your poem. This write is well penned, a little strong perhaps, but theres nothing wrong with that, at least I don't think so.
Good job and good luck
-Shirley- -
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thanks
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Hmm. This had good flow. I loved the picture. I liked the third stanza the best.
Good job.
Love,
Marisa -
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Thanks . Glad you liked it.
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No problem. Thanks for entering. This is really good. Flows beautifully.
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Very good flow. Can you add your name to your notes?
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Done, sorry I forgot
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I love this picture and the poem that you have placed with it speaks on the same measure of what my thoughts were when I first seen it! Great job mom and the best of luck
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Thanks sweetheart I love the picture too. thanks again
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You really do well when picture inspired!! You come up with the most amazing things...
Well done on this Valerie! I think that this is probably one of your best... or at least one of my favorites of yours... you've painted some lovely pictures with your words.... superb writing sis!
Love ya!
~Melissa
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Thank you sweetheart. You are right I am a very visually inspired person. sometimes I just write, but I can always pull from a picture more easily. Thanks for your kind words.
Love you sis
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