I gaze upon the injustice
of this world of black and white.
All of us imprisoned in tiny squares…
(We call it HUMANITY.)
We, the collective group,
with our unspoken places;
understood nuances of where and when and why…
(We call it CONVENTIONALITY.)
We move,
but only to condemn our brothers.
To sacrifice his life for our own…
(We call it STRATAGEM.)
We are shackled to our limitations:
For our security we are told,
things we call order, balance, and reason…
(We call it REFUGE.)
I mean to understand it,
this battlefield of existence.
I try to think, but cannot…
(My mind was not groomed for such contemplation)
Is it true what they say?
It is but easier to bend
than break…
(Break through the black square I call home)
I wait for the world to turn.
I ponder my action and I’m thrown into another
not against my will…
(For I know they will give me reason)
Oh, these methodical minds,
how they do relate.
And take, and take, and take…
(Take from us our rationale)
They speak of superfluous things
While they surrender us
To the opposition…
(All the while, gloating)
I yearn to protest
To make my meager voice heard
But I am minute and trivial…
(And only one)
I see the injustice,
what we have let ourselves become.
I see the solution and plead for change…
(But I cannot do it unaided)
The game will surely shift
And someone will alter our perceptions
But it will not be me…
FOR I AM BUT A PAWN; FOLLOWING THE COMMAND OF ANOTHER.
A contest entry
- Politically Incorrect Part 1 by WisdomWarrior.
1300 points, ended January 26, 2007, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Structural Defect by Exodus.
500 points, ended February 18, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
I quite enjoyed reading this piece. You present a beautiful (yet utterly disturbing) picture. Your use of language is excellent and really helps through out the whole piece. I was surprised, looking back, just how long it was. You manage amazingly well in capturing the attention of your readers. The only thing I have to say against this piece is I am not sure the capitalisation works in favour of it. I think this would do better with the less is more idea.
Anyway thankyou for this lovely piece.
-
.
-
- Original Technique 10
- Good Approach of Subject 10
- Original Style 10
- Flow of Poem 7
- A little too abrupt in its rhythm
- Expression of position 10
-
Thank you for entering. You can fix as many errors as you like and make as many changes as you like until the end of today to make any changes or replacements. After the close of the contest, no further changes can be made.
I have read your piece but I won't judge it until after the 26th.
Thanks for entering.
John
-
Beautiful. I'm searching for the words to discribe the feeling I have, but my atempts fall short. I agree, as I'm sure its unfair to say, because you know me so well. Keep writing, please.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
