I live on the edge of
a knife in my town,
my church, my life
on the blade edges
of a dark that cuts me,
bleeds me apart
in a gender apartheid from sons,
daughters and wives.
It slices away –
strangles me, makes me
die ( as I must ). So
I hide in plain sight
and watch the slime
serpent rise its ugly
mocking head; round
welling up and sneering
its doubt - . It is doubt
that drives me
insane - . I stare and you
stare back my name.
I (we) did not choose
this thing that
picks our lives, our souls
clean, that pulls at our flesh
till we are seen - no longer human,
but some kind of creature
for your loathing.
Derided, we
are not toys
for your amusement
or ploys thrown at us
by your perversions and
labels which mock us (me)
we (I) stand and say no more;
silenced by my anger,
and rage.
~r.
All rights reserved,
© January 2007 R. Braley
(astralshepherd)
Please tell me what you think
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that really speaks to me and my heart bleeds for you. you need to do what I did and seek out others close to you, there will be others just like you. I was so miserable and lonely when I first made my choice but be brave, there is strength in numbers, start looking.
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this is a good poem. very moving reminds me of the times I used to cut.
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Being someone who suffers from recurring manic depression, I read this and I see days in my past laid flat open for all the world to see and judge. I am not sure how you meant this interpretted, or what it applies to in your own life but this hit really close to home for me personally. The past few days have not been good ones for me emotionally, which explains my absence from Allpoetry for the past few days. But when I logged in this morning and read this... Bamm! It hit me smack between the eyeballs. I am so lucky to have a husband who understands my moods because I know life would be even darker if that were not the case. You define me in this one Richard... at least the hurting side of me.
♥ Touchof1der
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very interesting
.................i must say you had me reading this about four times. excellent poem. I realy liked the flow and the ending of your poem. Thanks for sharing. Kassie.
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