There are no Stars
If I could see you, I’d tell you what to do
Steady, stumble, the move about
It’s all we do.
There are no stars! Just get on, in getup
Fit to crawl, to be under call
Spending the empty time
It’s all we do.
I couldn’t care, even if you tried
To do anything at all
Page over page turning, yearning to see me be
All we’ll ever be forever, together.
There are No stars
Fling your arms madly!
You have no words
Cracking so sadly on all fours.
I see the way, got to get some done
Before you lose it someday
Nothing so inviting like to do it today
Losing because my mind’s astray.
There are no stars, we move about
It’s all we do, me and you, we move along
Revolving and evolving into nothing at all
Do you see the flies?
---Dedicated to Syd Barrett---
Author notes
By "stars" i'm referring to people, not the heavens.
THis poem reflects on a person who has become totally happy and quaint with his life and muses about watching others try so desperatley to make a mark on life. Allthewhile this person just wants to tell you to take life easy, don't try so hard to be a "star", in the end there are none. Having said that, this person would probably jump at the opportunity to be something great, in his own way. Or maybe he's already found another plane of existence!
Syd: "I didn't like the fact that we weren't living in luxurious places with luxurious things around us. I think I would always advocate that sort of thing the luxurious life. It's probably because I don't do much work.
...I've always thought of going back to a place where you can drink tea and sit on the carpet. I've been fortunate enough to do that."
on the other hand "for awhile 've hardly done anything, so I don't really know what to say. I feel, perhaps, I could be claimed as being redundant almost. I don't feel active, and that my public conscience is fully satisfied."
"I'm treading the backward path. Mostly, I just waste my time."
'I'm full of dust and guitars.'
"There are just so many people running around. Doing different things-no kind of unity."
A contest entry
- Only the Strong Survive by Quixotically Yours.
550 points, ended February 21, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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This is fantastic
but then again I have never read
a piece of yours that didn't leave my
jaw hanging stupidly open...
(that was a compliment)
the last few lines really blew me away
'Revolving and evolving into nothing at all
Do you see the flies?'
Thank you for sharing
this most impressive piece!
~Pastel
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Sad when others try to be what they are not. Despite our nature to strive to be better sometimes it is better that we don't. Great write! As always' Tish
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Great Syd Quotes
I love the Syd Barrett quotes you added! 'I'm full of dust and guitars.' I like that one...
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Strong verses here , though the lines seemd a bit short they are power packed.
Shadows -
I couldn’t care, even if you tried
To do anything at all
Page over page turning, yearning to see me be
All we’ll ever be forever, together.
thats my favorite. I can't say i fully understood this piece, i felt like it was a friend to a younger friend or a lover to a lover. But I did like the rhythm and i loved it as a whole.
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This is a very interesting write. The narrator is brutally honest, but in a caring way. The form is very abstract, but I really like it. You've certainly presented something unique.
Thanks for entering my contest! -
I think this is well done--the narrator is blunt, but not uncaring, and it has a great tone.
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Thanks you for the lauds!
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Thank you
I really enjyed the meaning behind this write. I think that you know what you are saying and I agree with it 100%. Thank you for posting such a great write! -
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Thanks, I guess we are two of a kind, hehe
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Fame is fleeting, standards change
All and all it's rearranged
What was hip brings now distress
Pleated pants from pleated dress
Lies abound round every bend
Love is sought but can not send
Flies now gather, pending doom
Another failure came too soon
-Eddy
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Great words, they compliment this piece so very well, thank you for adding them!
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Ambition is Poison
This poem was a joy to read, despite its dismal message. It illustrates a difficult concept very well: The concept that we strive for what most (if all) cannot have. What we can't have is the life of someone well-noted, who has "made a difference." I've always been a bit skeptical of the people who tell me to make a difference, or who say they're living to make a difference. Well... everyone makes a difference. The magnitude of the difference is what's in question. I suppose there's always the butterfly effect... But that's making a difference by mistake, in ways no one realizes.
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Thanks, I think it's a profound message, to just be happy with what you are...and it will lead to affluence in it own right.
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WOW
I love this one too. You can really picture Syd in this. -
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Thanks again. hopefully someone will see this and go buy Madcap Laughs! hahah
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So Sad!
I think the last line really jumped out at me in this one the most! It makes me think that all the striving for the glit and glitter only amounts to "stink and death." I really like the lines....
There are no stars
Filling your arms madly!
You have no words
cracking so sadly on all fours
So sad for me to think of a person being like a slave of some sort to ambitions that lead to slavery of a kind to ourselves and blindness. This poem really moved me and I like the unique take you have on "stars" leaving blackness of night with no direction.
So much to ponder in this one! Thanks for sharing it and I really enjoyed reading it!
castaway
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Bang on!
You've read it exactly how I intended! You've even truely grasped and felt the intent of the finishing line. thank you ever so kindly for passing by and imprinting your thoughts on this one.
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well that explains it while z idea of there aren't no stars in z sky when she's around seemed nicer anway this's a nice poem,keep going,thnx 4 yr comment on my poem
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To me this indicates going through the motions of life but living it unhappily, with people passing by each day, yet not connecting soulfully. Time is passing by and your yearning for a life, not just an existance but you have to drag yourself through each day. We're all doing the same thing until our dying day. It's a sad thought if this is what you meant in this poem but in a way i think it's very true.
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You have it exactly right! nice. Now I don't need to explain it cause you have already. hehe.
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an empathy with syd. very beautiful I have to say. has that sort of loopy serenity to it. I can almost hear the beat again.
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well. this is interesting. you started out with clear organization with what i thought would be a central repitition phrase. interesting switch up. Deception by people...yeah happens all the time i'm sry to say. I'm also interpreting that you don't think that these "stars" have anything special about them either...by calling them stars and then saying their not is where i'm getting this one from. I'm not to sure of the rhyme pattern...but this is a great free-write. awesome interpretation of people.
~Sorrow~ -
Hmm... this is kind of confusing. I can't figure out the rhyming pattern--or if there even is one. It seems to me that this poem is about the facades of people, and how desperate we all are to connect to one another, and yet we never break out of our--shells (for lack of a better word). So that's my interpretation of it. I like it. Good job.
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