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Promise

Part One
Pathetically romantic
I fell for you
so swiftly
and the feeling hasn't faded
My heart still beats for you.

Part Two
You gave me a ring
and promised me forever
Hoplessly romantic
it made me fall
even further

Part Three
Even if forever
is impossibly short
I promise I will
spend all of it
with you
and even if forever
is incredibly long
I will cherish its entirety
if you are by my side

Part Four
So please promise
promise
everything
my Dearest, Darling love
and love me like we
vowed to
for eternity and
more
Because I promise
promise
everything
my heart, my soul, my being
I dedicate to you
all my life,
love,
forever more

Author notes

today during Art class I was washing out my caligraphy pen when I was hit by this overwhelming feeling of love towards my boyfriend. I wanted so badly to talk to him, but couldn't, so I wrote this instead.
I'm not sure when he gets to read it...maybe on our wedding night...whenever that comes...

UPDATE:
he never did read it. I don't think he read any of the poems I wrote for him. "he had ADHD" see...and never read any of the notes I wrote him, any of the poems or songs...but...it's still one of my works...

there's the "Part One-Four" thing in there now because I realized the rhythm was completely different from each stanza, and this is my creative way to fixing that little issue. I'm debating whether to say "Chapter One-Three" then putting "Epilogue" or something instead of part four, though...

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • j-ay rose
    March 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Promise:
    In other currently running contests:
    Creativity: 3/10
    Concept: 3/10
    Language: 3/10
    Overall Effect: 2/10
    Final Grading: 11/40
    Notes: none.


  • January 25, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Amazing!!!!

    You are just Awesome!!!!! It makes me all happy and shit!*BOUNCES AROUND ALL IRISH LIKE* Awesome!!


  • Eyes Wide Shut gold member
    January 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    So sweet, but could you tell me the option number? And did you read the rules? Great piece! Good luck!


  • j-ay rose
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Aw, such a sweet little piece. I happen to like the end better than the beginning if that’s even possible. Nicely done and good luck in the contest.