Tell me how it feels
How it feels to know you failed
Failed at protecting the heart of the one around you
You went to war
You came back
But it just wasn't you
You told me no relationship
Not while you're in the Army
And now
I look outside my window
Through the falling snow
And to my surprise it's you
With another girl
You lied to me
When you said you loved me
So I'm going to lie to you
When I say I'm not hurting
As I fake my smiles to you
Every night I think what if
What if you weren't in the Army
Would it have been different
What if
It was all okay
What if
You knew how to be a man
How to step up to your own demise
And face all your lies
When you hand her that rose
I'll watch it die
Crumble in her hands
She hasn't seen the deception you hold within
So when you lay your head down
Amongst the silence of the night
Know that I'm going to be alright
You never gave your all
But I'll still be there to watch you fall
When you lay her down
Know that never again I'll be around
I faced up to everything you made believe
Letting them go from deep down inside
I was holding onto your lies
Like they were dreams
You promised your love
Your life
And a wedding ring
Never again shall I be such a fool
For falling in love
With the one I thought was true
I lost my true love
But not because of her
I lost him the day he joined the Army
For you know at that point I was never truly yours
Say your goodbyes
As the wind kisses your eyelids
And as you pull her close
Know that I'm going to live another day
Because never again
Will I trust a man
Who says I want to give you a ring
Author notes
A contest entry
- Lost Love by Dancing Feather.
500 points, ended March 10, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Please please please tell me this isnt true. So heart breaking. A subtle anger and much hurt.
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Sad
It's awful to find out you've been decieved. I'm very sorry, this poem is so expressive it makes one's heart ache. You hear so much about unfaithful women and 'dear john' letters to men in the military, people seem to forget it works both ways. He has shattered your trust and that's the fist step in losing love.
I hope you find the right guy next time and learn to love and trust again
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very sad sorry for your pain,love is never easy and first love and heartbreak take a big toll but please dont give up on love ok
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oops forgot to applaud
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a truly beautiful, heartfelt poem, i really mean it when i say i love it. you have shown your emotions so well it is breathtaking, congrats on a really amazing write, and good luck in the contest
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I liked it. It felt like I could relate to the speeaker. My favorite part is "As the wind kisses your eyelids" - very descriptive. It might sound better if you said "going to" and "want to" instead of "gonna" and "wanna" becuase it makes the speaker seem like they don't care. You could also use another synomym for "lies" - decetion, deceit, etc.
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great!
This was very good!
At first glance I thought "oh gosh this is going to be long and drawn out" but it truly was not. I was very involved from the first line until the last. I loved this line "As the wind kisses your eyelids"-So eloquent and original. Great poem, keep writing!
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This life of an army man, never true to anyone but the cause and his own personal feelings and duties. It is sad you got caught into this trap that some men lay, please know not all are like this one and you are far better off knowing now than to have your heart and life ripped apart later. It will heal, blessings to you.
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This was really good. You had a lot of emotion in it, and a few metaphors that were really bright. The only thing I didn't like was the slang "Gonna" that came up every few lines--it just makes it sound more childish. Also, the repeated use of some words-- "Love" "lies" and "lay" for example--seem to make the poem seem a bit... unimaginative... like you couldn't come up with the right words, or enough words. But overall, I liked it.
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completly brilliant.
i can completely relate to this poem. i too have lost somone to war, he promised me he will return for me, but he never told me he would return with somone else. it hurts,, when you find out that your whole herts has become filled with lies and everything around you falls to black and emptyness, i can truly relate to this poem. im starting a contest soon, you should enter this poem, you would be a verry good bit of contest. and i think that you would also be a winner, but who knows, i just want you to know that you have alot of talent and what you have been through ir rough and hard to get through, but this poem seems to tell me that you got through well. great poem, keep up the good work, <3 mandie
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Thank you!
I really really do appreciate your comment, it means a lot. I'm sorry that you've gone through this as well, it's not easy for anyone. what is worse is the fact that he left me for someone i was friends with.. what a stab in the back huh? I def would like to enter this poem in your contest, as well as maybe even write a new one for it? please keep in touch, if you ever need to talk, just message me.
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Painful and edgy - I could almost see this as some kind of sad song, honestly. Good luck in the contest.
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Thanks for the comment..
it was painful, still is, but I'm going to be okay as stated in the poem, every word is true..
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