Forbidden fruits
I mustn't taste,
realities I cannot face,
a time I find consumned in fear,
without my love, I need him here,
A day that I can find my home,
the pain I feel when I'm alone,
a bound affection keeps my mind
from weaving toward a different time:
When dreams of love evolve disfigured,
(treason I had never pictured)
pull me under, take my wisdom
(happy endings made to schism..),
daring, planning, trite revenge
hope this sacrilege can end,
Abysmal need to match the score,
a rage I've never felt before
denies conflicting quotes on ardor,
tells me not to be his marytr,
sends my nerves aflame again
while in the arms of his best friend--
Immersed in depths of rotten splendor,
Relishing the sweet surrender..
Hold my face to greet the sky,
Ignoring what I feel inside.
Author notes
The first brain-child in a long time. It's fiction and all that jazz, but this write takes me back to a time where everything appeared to be so black and white, and I thought that revenge could solve everything.
For those who couldn't tell, this write reflects the thoughts of a girl or boy with a cheating boyfriend, and the paradox of whether or not revenge should be taken in the form of cheating right back. I wouldn't recommend it.
Any good?
Comments
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Jared told me he slept with you while we were dating a few days ago. I assume this explains this poem, but I haven't known you for so long, and it could well be about someone else. I can't apologize enough for fucking with you and Saras friendship, but I feel how I made you feel, and I am now at ends with Jared in the same way you are/were with Sara.
I had to get that off my chest. -
I got the message without your explanation - "match the score" told me of your plan to return the treachery - but with their best friend - wow. Interesting conflicting images -"rotten splendour", "disfigured" love - work well in this poem.The last line implied to me that you were not happy with your fictional revenge. I wish you well. camus
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Epic. Very epic. And Edenic.
For some reason, it reminds me of Milton's Paradise Lost...but that's possibly only because I've been forced to read that(again) this year.
This is remarkably interior and personal to and within the perspective of the speaker of the poem. In that, I find myself astounded. That's something I've been trying to do recently, but have found it a remarkably difficult feat - presenting a situation without any objective perspective on the situation... In that sense, this greatly reminds me of Trent Reznor's lyrics.
Very good.
Very, very good.
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