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Why / Mirror Oddquain

Missing image
Why

Laugh
Run play dance
Sing a song of love
Children playing in the streets
Giggle

Lock
Guns and solders in the streets
Stay invisable
Hide inside
Hurt

Author notes

The mirror oddquain has a syllable count of 1, 3, 5, 7, 1 1, 7, 5, 3, 1,

In a list

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Swan song gold member
    November 3, 2007

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    A sad reality the victims no matter what are the young and the old. I have seen this too much in my life


  • Tirrell
    January 24, 2007

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    I like the use of the mirror for your form here.
    Adds a new layer of depth to this child of woe.
    Very profound and powerful write. Happy childhood meets the soldiers violent clash of worlds...
    very well composed.


  • Manoura xx
    January 24, 2007

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    woow...i can see how this fits the picture...usually when writing a poem based on a picture, it is hard for me...but is actually the most fun....haha...BUT THIS!!!well...THIS IS AMAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZIIIIINNNNNNNGGGG!!!!!if you haven't realized..im lyk going through all of your poems..well trying to...haha...im not going to stop until ive been through all of them...I have been inspired by you...woow...THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!!!YAAAAY...haha.>BYE!1


  • PerVirtuous
    January 24, 2007

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    What a wonderful description of the plight of children in war-torn countries. I love the simplicity, yet the message is undeniably deep. The poem is both beautiful and haunting.


  • thorlorn thanatos
    January 24, 2007

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    I dont actually know what this poem means. But I like the words, and it reminds me of a dirty real evil that hides from the world of innocence which I feel is represented by the soldiers which are hidden from the view of the children who appear to be sweet and innocent.
    Nice imagery
    Hope to see more like it


  • ricochet rabbit
    January 24, 2007

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    Outstanding

    Good first stanza. You got my attention. The second stanza is even better. The contrast is very vivid and the photo better illustrates what is going on. You make a good point but you do so with a very subtle touch. You seem to know that painting a picture is so much better than blurting it out. Well done.


  • mysticstorm gold member
    January 24, 2007

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    Nice form and strong message. A very wonderful write that captures one and brings them into it.
    Great words of wisdom!
    Thank you for entering!

1 - 7 of 7