Saguine weeds stir all about,
threading cyringes filled with
poison into its roots, a veneer
of fantasy, a gloss of unreal,
seem to keep this tree from tumbling down.
Dawn breaks through canopies,
those which appease the darker side
of this duality, both life and death,
a fringe hung on like a hinge, unhooking
if it is dared or disturbed.
Will the tree break into the faithful light?
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
thought provoking.......
Dawn breaks through canopies,
those which appease the darker side
of this duality, both life and death,
a fringe hung on like a hinge, unhooking
if it is dared or disturbed.
Will the tree break into the faithful light?
This reminds me so much of yin and yang. It's as if there is this incessant battle of good vs. evil deep within the spruce. I really appreciate how you so eloquently use personification and metaphor in your work. I have learned a great deal about that from reading your poetry and your prose, Deindichter.
Very well done, indeed! ~Knight70
-
I really like this one, the first stanza just makes me think that the tree should die, but the second has like a will to live, but only if it remains untouched. I might have gotten it wrong but still another marvelous peice.
-
Your imagery is very striking and original, and your poem in balanced on a diametric razor's edge of opposites. Best of luck in the contest with this great piece.
D.D.M.
-
Just fantastic, love the lines "if it is dared or disturbed." there is something about this piece that seems to bridge the gap between good and evil, that to me, describes life and the choices presented to us, and I begin to see myself as that spruce tree, waiting to be disturbed, or dared, to act. Impressive. -Jacen.
-
Duality
This is really beautiful Seanny. I like the dualistic nature to it. It was beautiful when you showed it to me the first time...and more beautiful now that I see the layout on the screen, the flow, and the picture that inspired this piece. You will do well, I'm sure.
-
Well this one's totally different. Quite unique and thought provoking. Great language use and incredible flow. Thanks for sharing and good luck in my contest... x Butterfly.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
