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Missing Pieces

 

 

Without my conscience I could still

love you without reservation,

oblivious to the world

I would damage

on my way.

.

Blinded,

I could still grasp

the exquisite splendor

of a sunrise and sunset, lost

with you, for love needs no light to lie.

.

I do not need all limbs to climb Olympus,

to approach, with you hand in arm,

an altar of divine euphoria;

Red wine kisses of

a perfect age.

.

One lung,

and I could breathe

your name, in last requests

that life be squeezed like tangerines

to gently ease distress, upon each parting.

.

One limb, a lung, my eyes, perhaps my soul;

I ask what loving you should cost.

“Everything!” You say to me.

And I give until I am

no longer

whole.

 

 

 

 

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1 - 24 of 24

  • Never Fall in Love
    February 11, 2007

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    I ask what loving you should cost.
    “Everything!” You say to me.
    And I give until I am
    no longer whole.

    that verse there, has the most emotion I ever felt
    and in some ways, i got a bit angered
    as to how someone can ask you for your everything
    but it later also melted me to wonder
    how someone can give it without hesitating
    I do know that there is one person, yes at this age, that i'd give my all to ..
    and not only till im not whole anymore, but until the point where there is nothing left of me

    but this poem, you have penned really well
    a really good job you have done


    ~* NeveR *~




    • trista gold member
      February 12, 2007

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      NeveR...

      You have amazing insight and I believe you've seen both sides to this poem very, very well. It is a dilemma to me at times, to be honest...this poem came about after a heated discussion with someone I love very much. I too felt he was asking for far too much...and I still think what he asked was unfair given the circumstances of what we were talking about. On the other hand, I love him to the point of sacrificing so much of myself...perhaps too much. I love with my whole heart, but I now believe we have to learn to say "no" BECAUSE we love someone, even though they may not understand it or might think we should give more than we did. Parents learn this lesson with their children, often saying no because it's what they know is best for the child. But in love relationships it's harder to do that, and many people self-destruct because of it.

      If you are at all familiar with the Bible, there is a passage, my favorite in fact:

      Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. (NRSV, 1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

      It is the "it does not rejoice in wrongdoing" part that I eventually had to come to terms with. So yes...love and be willing to give everything you've got, but only in truth, never in wrongdoing...

      Take care and God Bless,
      ~J.


      • Never Fall in Love
        February 14, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        I am not familiar with the bible, But I want to mention how true the passage is. It is exactly what love is. Though, I have always learnt to go the right way. No matter what happens, we can't see injustice... and perhaps that is why we learnt it first in life so that it doesnt interfere us later on and that we are able to make the right decisions.

        I know very well about self-destruction because of expectations .. I felt it once again last night. Now, not that much, the only thing I feel inside is emptiness because I've done so much, and it was appreciated.

        Take care
        ~* NeveR *~


  • Celticmoon
    February 3, 2007
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    thank you for entering!

    over all score is a 5


  • Arkbear gold member
    January 29, 2007

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    Trista ~

    Trista ~

    There is such devotion in this write ~

    Any man should be so lucky to have you as a wife ~

    To go to any lengths at any cost to keep the one you love ~

    Perfect ~

    Bear ~


  • debilynn gold member
    January 29, 2007
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    this is a wonderful write! very deep emotionally with spiritual overtones. the rhythm is good and it flows well. i really like the way it looks also. you are very talented. keep writing. God bless you


  • Twinstar
    January 26, 2007

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    WOW! WOW! WOW! This is a deep emotional piece. It is sad and it is also enlightening. It's sad because sometimes in life we give more than is deserved untill there is not much left of ourselves. It is enlightening because we learn to never again give more than what is recieved back in return. That is what we call a balance. Very well done here. I felt the emotional impact of this poem. Great Work!
    Peace
    Debbera


  • Wayne Leon Learmond
    January 25, 2007

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    Wonderful writing

    That was very very beautiful indeed, I love this deep piece of emotional writing. Keep it up. Indeed, love can cost you your life itself.


  • Timothy Cameron gold member
    January 24, 2007

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    I tasted my own heart in this write (that doesn't happen much). Imagery is deep and beautiful...as is the meaning.

  • Life Messenger
    January 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Do we all need to work for love? Sadly, yes...even if we lose something, it was worth it just for love. What a sometimes cruel emotion...It's a nice write. The words are quite subtle,but straight to the point. Keep on writing!


  • Alleksa Jan
    January 24, 2007

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    Beautiful it is - it is not the first time I say so of your poetry - I have no choice really, the words I read make me do so!
    The poem is written from heart, every word is felt, experienced and meaningful - this combination is rare to meet. Because it is hard to combine all this together and do it in a poetical form.
    The romantic essense of your poems is so simple, yet it is like a balmy salve for my soul. You are amazing, you are one of the few people that are still amazing me with their sense of true love. Because true love is self-sacrificing and completely selfless....
    Oh,my - what is there else to say when there is nothing to add except for a bow and a round of applause!

    Jan


  • WinnerGenius
    January 24, 2007

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    Excellent

    This is a wonderful poem depicting your reflection on love. Maybe it is you, or maybe the poem is about someone else. But it does feel like a labor of love. There is plenty of poetic inspiration here. The stanzas are poignant, resonant with unspoken emotions. The last line particularly wants me to tell you...even when you give 'everything' in love, you are a whole. In fact, I think love is the only beautiful thing in this world which you can just go on giving endlessly, and be a complete human being. This poem is very inspiring to me. The imagery is wonderful. Keep writing. Excellent work! God bless.


  • Meet Virginia
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is very well put together. It's a good write. The stanzas don't all "match," so to speak, but I like that. It keeps things eye-catching. This is a great piece.


  • Cannonsfire
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This appears to be one person sacrificing her whole self to a love so encompassing that she cannot or will not see beyond it, it is tryly beautifully done.


  • thorlorn thanatos
    January 24, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I love the rhythym and how you express your feelings for someone.
    Its true what you write and that you end up giving up everything for someone to make them happy, give yourself unto them

    Well written, nice use of imagery. I like it


  • Rose Angel gold member
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Dear Trista I feel your feelings as you write this, and I think I understand all you say.The sacrifice of true love and to what limits it requires, takes some thought,and the consequences of such a committment..And in giving everything,wholeness can be lost..as you say...So beautifully written, eloquent, and honest and genuine as you are..Devotedly a pearl to those who know you best and to we all that love you
    A baring of heart and soul!...An Excellent write!


  • ricochet rabbit
    January 24, 2007

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    S1 is very deceptive in its simplicity, therefore it is very effective.

    S2 seems so much more complex and I don't think it matches the sheer power of S1. I think it's the word "exquisite". However, you haven't lost me yet.

    S3 goes over my head. It's kind of frustrating to read.

    S4 is very vivid in its imagery and is by far my favourite stanza. I think this would make a good poem by itself.

    S5 is so intense. I think, at the end of the day, your poem is very good but I still have mixed feelings about it.

    All told, it was a pleasure to read.


  • LegalEagle
    January 24, 2007
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    this is a nice write with an interesting background


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    January 23, 2007
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    WoW my friend this is really kinda deep.
    you really amaze me sometimes, with the things you come up with.
    you really do have a God given talent.
    this is excellent my friend.
    just down right outstanding, you should be proud.

    manyblessings2u & yours always
    love joyce


  • rlmcmd
    January 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    loving

    A loving tribute, that went to the depths of my being, for I too have known this love.

    "I do not need all limbs to climb Olympus,

    to approach, with you hand in arm,

    an altar of divine euphoria;

    Red wine kisses of

    a perfect age."

    Hopeful and true are your magnificent words that flow like the humors of life. giving life to all, demanding the blood of our fathers, but always rushing through our consciousness. A song of hope for the few that know it. Bob



  • Endeavor gold member
    January 23, 2007

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    Amazing

    This write is exceptional for even you

    You have truly bared your heart to us in this
    holding nothing back as I most love to see in writing

    The end tore me up deeply with the thought of you
    This moment I love you for your words

    For the 24 time in 7,148 comments I say Amazing

    Rick


    • trista gold member
      January 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Rick,

      Thank you for saying "Amazing". I know you don't give those out lightly.

      My thoughts and feelings shift so often, and what I feel today might be 100% different from tomorrow. I know you understand this, too, and I thank you for your care and love. When pieces go missing in a puzzle, we throw the whole thing out...thank heaven people are not like that.

      Much love,
      ~J.


  • michellemybelle gold member
    January 23, 2007

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    Trista,
    WOW! This is amazing, the ending giving the perfect punch.
    I understand this situaion well, loving someone and it not being in the best interest and can even feel depleteing and then, perhaps, finding self love. Unfortunately, I believe many women feel this and will relate to your perfectly put words.
    I loved this analogy

    that life be squeezed like tangerines

    to gently ease distress, upon each parting.

    well wishes in happiness and love,
    Michelle



    • trista gold member
      January 23, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Michelle,
      Thanks so much for your insightful comment. This poem came about after a conversation concerning how much love should cost a person, with I unwilling to sacrifice my very life. Perhaps in another context I would do that, but not in an act of selfishness on another's part, that takes nothing of me into consideration. And yet...we often stay in a situation that we know is slowly tearing pieces of ourselves away.

      Thank you again, and best wishes for your happiness as well.
      Much love,
      ~J.

1 - 24 of 24