do as leaves do
find your inner gold
and let it out
in the free-fall
I forget to transcend
keep trying
to become a moment of yesterday:
crystals on strings
spinning among the trees
Christmas year-round, symbolism
explained and so full of power
our fates spun by these webs
the sweet jingling cries of
collisions, creations, new fractures
and new life
settling into the ground
and becoming the base
for so many futures
In a list
an odd story... did you follow it?
Comments
1 - 73 of 73
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I like it as much as I can like free verse. Pretty. Well read, too, other than your quick stumble
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well done and creative . . a good write for the season !!
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wow that's cool guess who's is a video addict LOL it really is good getting to listen to just how a poet interprets there own work. Infection and emphasis can re write a piece even when the words are the same. This picture of natures circle of life is gripping and rich in complexity ...
Cyber Artist
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Oh I love your imagery in this Kevin. We must follow all the signs to create the future. Thank you for sharing
Gaylene
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I liked this
The images you have penned are wonderful
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This reflects on the regeneration of eternal Christmas spirit well.
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The creation of the next generation depend son this one. It is a continuing cycle of creation surviving collisions and fractures to perpetuate itself, Life. Very well thought out , well written and I hope I got it right.
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I like this, the turning of the world, the cycle of life, seen in the drifting fall of leaves - from the particular to the universal. I like the image of leaves as Christmas tree decorations, and the line 'collisions, creations, new fractures
and new life'
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Such an optimistic write here, I liked the imagery. I didn't really follow the story, but I did like the alliteration and sibilance here.
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Wow an outstanding piece. One of the best I have read in a long time. The imagery is wonderful. A well constructed piece, great use of words. I love the way you closed, superb!
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Best poem I've reviewed authored by you.
I don't even think
you needed to video this one.
You know how I think you rock, but silence was the
best backdrop for this one.
Now. Play your harmonica, and we'll talk.
*Favorite lines*
our fates spun by these webs
the sweet jingling cries of
collisions, creations, new fractures
and new life
and then...
settling into the ground
and becoming the base
for so many futures<------ this is 3rd generation
wisdom, and I don't think you're old enough
to have this. Who are your mentors,..??????
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The Author seems spell bound in visions of the collectivness of the energy in "one".All things relative. And they are of course. Enraptured in the living moment,free falling and just as life was intended I think.Anyway.This has poetic device spilling from each line's message tied together well.
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Wow!
The last stanza is a grabber. Amazing metaphors. Seems a little spiritual in the 3rd stanza with the usage of the line "Christmas year-round," that kinda caught my interest. Very visual, gives this reader the impression of light and creative energy.
The last stanza was so multifaceted for me...........it kinda spoke eternity, but in an intellectual sense.
A very thought provoking poem, capturing the attention of this reader, which most times isn't too hard. But, I facinated myself with the disection of thought. Fun read! Thanks,
Castaway -
I love this new feature-- I'm not sure I myself will make use of it, but I really enjoy viewing others'. it adds much life!
haha, it's cool to finally see you... and MOVING too!
my favorite stanza: "crystals on strings
spinning among the trees
Christmas year-round, symbolism
explained and so full of power" -
Awesome!
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cute little smile at the end
lol.
i like the poem itself too...especially the ending...its beautiful.
but again...with the chair. i'm gonna take away your swivel chair and give you a regualr wooden kitchen one! -
It is very beautifully written! So full of imagery, with a unique and lovely use of words. And a fantastic idea with the videos. I think this is perhaps the first poem of yours I've read... apparently I've been missing out! Great write here. Blessings!
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i stumbled on stumple...lol
ah, yes, I followed and stumbled on the base and just became the future, I love concept of fall, wonderfully worded, and video is great. -
I ♥ this, Kevin! This is unbelievable! Can't wait to figure it out. It just totally adds... Good job. (Too bad the video doesn't match the speed of the voice, though.)
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That's you? Reading your poetry? well, I am really curious to see who will be the next to read their poetry. This poem is very nice, I like it because in its simplicity you are brining a lot of symbolism, actually my type of poetry. Congratulations and thanks for this new great vp (video poetry).
~Sonja~
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Dang this is soooo good, i love this! Your imagery beautifuly done! the last to stanzas just great!
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damn. That's a beautiful and powerful poem!!! I absoultely LOVE LOVE love the last stanza!!!!!
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WOW
Wow, I love this. I don't even know why, it just really hit me. I would love to know your inspirtation for this poem, I've been a little lacking in inspirtation lately...
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beautiful and nice vid
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wonderful...an excellent write..I love this video feature..
Peace
~A~
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Bravo! Great poem and video to match!
D.D.M.
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i had no idea ap had video poems...i love the words...as for the vid...instead of showing you...how about loverly scene with a voice over...that would accentuate your well written poem.
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Brilliant.
Bravo
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ooh....lovely poem...i wish I had a camera.
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Bravo
Great poem and I just love the video feature.
Thank you Kevin!
- joanne
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A very good poem carrying a strong message, Kevin. And your reading it on the video makes it especially impressive.
This is a pretty cool idea
Dee
P S
Are we supposed to use applauds for the big boss... seems you'd already have more than enough
But I think I'll applaud anywya just 'cuz you and your poem deserve it
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i think that u have wat it takes to be a really good poet i dont mean to be ...u should show more feelings in your poetry ... i really liked the first line though ... "do as leaves do find your inner gold and let it out " i liked it good write !!
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Very good
To me the poem compares human life's developement somewhat to that of the progression of a tree. In order to grow true and strong you need a good foundation! aka "BOO"
Check out "Untilted" if you get a chance, somewhat similar(I guess) kinda tired mind not working up to par"
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Thats kool as man. You know, my friend and I were wondering what the time was over there in the states because we're in australia and dont know what time zone you've set it in (you've probably put it somewhere) but was thinking about a nice clock on the home page or something.. just so we know what time it is...
meh-- im probably annoying ya,, sorry for last night as wel.. (che-he-he)
anyways -- great poem, loved and all that jazz
Claire-Anne -
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Subtract 15 hours and you'll be close. It varies with daylight savings.
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A lot of paths at once. I like it.
I like "crystals on strings/spinning among the trees." These lines are great and I feel excitement while reading them. The piece as a whole scatters the reader's thoughts everywhere, which is interesting. *bends down from chair to pick thought up off the floor*
Thank you also for your comment on "Dragon Boy". I've been trying to get more comments on that one for a while.
If you can't see how conversations can be like airplanes taking off, you didn't know me when I was 12. *Has a flashback of frenzied hyperactivity* -
An excellent message
This poem holds a deep and meaningful message for all poets and those who write in whatever manner they choose. It is simply written and packs a punch at the same time.
Excellent
HUGS
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wow
i really like this poem its really very umm how to i put it has a lot of symolism in it like,
i luv the line that says our fates spun by these webs
~manda
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wow very true so much meaning i like this one alot!! great job!!!!
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well done!!
I am out of points but I will come back , you say snow without saying it. by just a description you are a great poet. you deserve to have your own poetry group.
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Stunning!
WOW!
this is one poem that sure took my breath away...
i'm in love with the imagery, the metaphors... especially the crystals part.. i've read this like 5 times.. and i can't stop myself from reading over and over.. this has such a strong impact!!!
sometimes in the search for that "inner gold", years pass by.. and yet, when we look back, it's like the same christmas snow is still falling... some things never change.. some things we never see again.. but yes, we're all part of the life-cycle.. slow, but gradually becoming stronger... a necessary sacrifice..
i really find the relation between your first and last stanza interesting.. like handpicking the best part of your heart and passing it on.. minerals for new roots...
i feel like standing beneath that tree right now.. looking up, and celebrate christmas from within... (even though i don't celebrate christmas as such..
)
sad, dark, peaceful...
that's how i find this piece to be..
and breathtaking..
thanks for making me ponder... enjoyed it...
and this goes into my specialty bookmarks!
bless ya!
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we all need to be reminded of the transiency of the moment from time to time... thanks for bringing this focus back to me today. lovely imagery, and, though i didn't follow the "story," this poem speaks on many levels. good write!
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Wonderful
'Find your inner gold and let it out' I really enjoyed those words they were very encouraging. The finish had a fine firm tone.
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OMG... WOW!
This is so beautiful. The metaphor is like nothing I've ever heard begore and it is just amazingly lovely. Really, this is a beautiful poem. The flow from the title to the poem is great and the whole poem is just wonderful altogether- images especially.
I absolutely love this.
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Beautiful imagery. Autumn is my favorite season, and I just love how you described it. I really enjoyed the last stanza. Nicely written.
Chelsea
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wow
fall is my fav season. i love all the colors & everything. wel im kelcie just look at my page or message me. great pooem love it.
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I love you Kevin. This may help. thekeys.maharaji.net
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A layeredness in this poem ...
as autumn is ... and the motion "fall", too, in all its different connotations and denotations ...
The decomposition and decay of matter always bring about new possibilities and textures.
Lovely imagery and alliteration in this uplifting poem.
Well done, Kevin.
Love
Myra
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i can see why u set up this site, it not only helps others release and realise their talent, but based on this poem and the other's i've read, it's allowed a similar effect on you, although your's is more of evolution than anything. I love the imagery, i love the style, it's simple yet effective and thats where it draws it's power from. Great write, great read.
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Kevin, this poem has an imagery
impetus, thrusting one imaginatively forward with your thoughts which seem autumnally based which is okay for me because I am from Australia.
Ron (aka Lyndon).
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I don't know if I got all the meanings behind it, but I did like your immagry, it made the poem seem very pretty
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an interestingly strange write, i love the use of nature and although i dont think i fully understood it i did enjoy it, very good
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i am sorry to have taken so long to get here, just too distracted with life, i guess and with that i find a soul's nourishment at the right moment...too distracted with life's "what if's" to slow down and see ahead, to reach for possibilities instead of pessimisms. I am getting too old to wrestle with the past and there are too few years left ahead of me. And so your poem is that encouraging prophetic voice, challenging me to keep moving onward. Very nice poem, Kevin, very nice indeed. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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The first lines are brilliant and I'll quote them often, 'Find yur inner gold and let it out.'
. This is a fascinating read. Important things can be overlooked as we tumble through life, but we only get one opportunity to get it right.
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Not such an odd story, but definately a unique take. For me it spoke of all the things we do to keep from becoming who we are today. Clinging to the past or to youth or to outworn outdated ideas of appropriateness.
It is always nice to read a poem that allows me to make comparisons to my own life and attitudes.
The metaphorical use of fall can be taken from multiple perspectives and used in the readers mind to create their own personal connection to the piece. That is always a nice touch.
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Bravo
most people that run these site don't do it for the poetry...but i love that you jumped right in...and i think it is a great poem...
Casel -
Likeable
Nice word choice. They make the poem seem more firm and strong. Likeable poetry you have here, but not anything special
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bravo
Well and ably done-nice play on words here--good poetic phrasiology as well--bravo...bravo...bravo!
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the leaf doesn't interact with the crsytal webs
perhaps if you connected the two by a break or tumble against the thread
or perhaps a cacoon is woven into the leaf
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crystals on strings
that's a how I'm currently thinking
Plasma ladders tendril from storm clouds
the path to the next air molecule
to be added to the plasma chain
depends on the spacing in between
This even stepping will cause the plasma chain
to deviate slightly from the direction of the electric field
inscribing a jig-saw distant of lightning
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i really like the wording, you have choosen some very strong words that help personalise and bring this poem to life thank you for such a lovely read
laura xx
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I love how you intertwine nature into this. Nice images mixed in with strong feeling. What I always like to find in poetry.
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Wonderful poem
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Zen Masterly
That complication is simplicity in drag.
My favorite part is the stressed consonant sounds in the forth stanza- "collisions, creations, new fractures", the poetic term escapes me at the moment, but it springs to mind the crunching sound of leaves. Alliteration, is it ? (and possibly something else?)
Your first line and last are effective, im my opinion, because they form a loop. By this I mean the symbolic long loop of rebirth of people, as compared to the simple leaf of a tree amd its similar fate.
I see no awkward area. I see a creative allusion to the four seasons, spread out amongst the poem, and not in such a conspicuous order as to take away from the symbolism, and or poem.
The movement and structure of your wording in this poem falls like a leaf. Neat.
A possible, yet certainly not necessary, minor improvement might come from the elimination of the word "keep" in the second stanza. Or, the elimination of the word "trying". It seems a bit like a double negative, even though they're positive words.
Or, eliminate "trying" and change "keep" to "keeping".
This might connote more leaf-like behavior (leaves are lazy and subject to the whims of wind and gravity.) lol
This is an odd critique... could you follow it? lol
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vivid
This is frustrating, because i had finished typing my comment for you when i hit the "backspace" key while not in the textbox. So, trying this again:
I found your use of the seasons quite moving. I liked how you, after taking us through all the seasons, wrote the ending to leave the reader thinking about all the seasons that are to come, after the few just mentioned. It was a very nice way to make something as simple as seasons very profound. -
I guess I sort of followed it, because though I do understand something I'm not sure it's what you meant. But the imagery is very vivid and as I percieve this poem it is deep nevertheless. I appreciate poetry that could have more than one interpretation.
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Hi Kevin, please remove all 5000 tropys from my author page thankyou -panegyric ink.
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Yes, I did ^^
I followed it! ^^ If a 13 year old can follow it, I'm sure others could.
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great job
I loved the metaphorical value.
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I followed.
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A lovely write and message Kevin. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Beautiful metaphor. Very nice expression of feeling. Good word choice and alliteration. A most enjoyable read.
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excellent fare!
Kevin! I can't figure out how to give you the10 points I wanted to give you. Can you explain it to me?
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The last thing you said is so very hard to do..it's really hard to find that and it can take forever.
The ones who do find it are very lucky.
This was a incredible metaphor and the flow was perfect I really enjoyed reading this one...I think this is one of my favorite poems I've read of yours now..
Kari
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