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Incomplete Couple

 

 

 

Destined to be lonely, I'll accept without a fuss
Consumed in this solitude, I have nothing more to discuss
You don't want to be with me; and I won't interfere
So I'll just have to sit back, and watch my world disappear

I stretch out my own, to reach for your hand
But why I don't see yours, I can't understand
My heart always searches, for the warmth of your touch
But I'll never feel it, though I'll miss it very much

I dwell in a posture, that was once an embrace
Only to learn that I won't see your face
The emptiness beside me will always remind
That if I should try, you will never be mine

I stare at what, I pretend are your eyes
And hope that I'll never have to realize
That I won't awake, this lugubrious dream
Or else I will fall in my own self-esteem

I push my lips forward, to join onto yours
Searching for the magic, that I once felt before
I look to my left, but you still aren't there
So the kiss to my loved one, just hangs in the air

Author notes

I don't know what to say
First .. it was inspired by Nick's poem
second .. It was hard writing this
Third .. It's my real story

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • hollywood.
    September 5
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful.
    But sad.
    And I love it.


  • Dearly Beloved...
    June 16

    Edit | Reply
    its was lovely as always
    I wnated to se you oldies. You've mange to capture bueaty in its dakrest, and lightest for a while, Keep it up


  • Blue-Rose Beauty gold member
    April 2
    Edit | Reply
    Good.


  • QueenCiar
    October 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I push my lips forward, to join onto yours
    Searching for the magic, that I once felt before
    I look to my left, but you still aren't there
    So the kiss to my loved one, just hangs in the air

    favorite stanza.
    excellent way of ending!
    thanks for entering and good luck.


  • Silverstar1993
    September 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is so amazing, It's full of emotion and rhythm, and you even managed to rhyme. Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • vampireprincess
    May 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Amazing... Wow it's really emotional. Some of the best poems come from the worst memories. Thanks for sharing this piece with me... Good luck.


  • peregrin
    May 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, so well written. I really like this poem, it is amazing! Good job!

  • DarkRomantic113
    April 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I kiss the air often. I hug my pillow.

    From this poem's perspective, you're a lot like me.


  • SatanicTemptation09
    February 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well done. The imagery wasn't as much as it could have been. but the way it was worded overall kept me interested. The flow was never choppy and the pacing was one that was easy to understand and keep up with. Sad and longing.

    I especially liked:
    I push my lips forward, to join onto yours
    Searching for the magic, that I once felt before
    I look to my left, but you still aren't there
    So the kiss to my loved one, just hangs in the air

    Thank you for entering


  • Pureisolation
    January 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really injoyed reading this poem. It hits home for me as well. Thank you for entering my contest. I am so sorry that you went through some heart ake and i hope things got better for you.


  • Jasmine Rayne
    January 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love this. It depicts the lonliness felt after love lost very well. Wonderful job on the way it flows as well. ^_^ Thank you for your entry.


  • Poet of Dreams
    August 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    very well written
    the rythm seems off at times, but all in all great wording and rhyme scheme. loved it.


  • TheDevilInYourHead
    July 19, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done. You did a great job on this that has left me nearly speechless. Wow. Fantastic.

  • EpicFailure
    May 19, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The way you used your words somewhat made me think of a dream, not sure why, but I do like this, it's a nice poem

    TY for entering and good luck

  • OurxBeginning
    March 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Awww, this is really sad. =/ Love is amazing, when it's true and when it's mutual. I really hope you find it/have found it already. Because once you do, it's remarkable. Loved this, sis, always here for you!!


  • duana
    March 26, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    wow, powerful. Well desrving of the gold! Congatulations.


  • Kevan
    March 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow... this is amazing. I really liked this the whole way through. Everything was perfect, the rhyme, flow, word choice, title, background... Every asspect was perfect and extraordinary. Good luck in the contest!

    ~Kevan


  • Heavens Child
    March 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great write! This flows really well, and I too have my own lost love that I still brew over once in a while. I love how you worded the ending on this. Very well done. Thank you for entering my contest.


  • trista gold member
    February 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Even though this is really sad to read, it has a flow and word usage that makes it feel that somewhere below the surface, there is also hope. Perhaps that is only my interpretation because I believe lost love is simply a place we must pass through, in order to get to where we truly belong.

    Once again, I am very impressed with the way you express your emotions while still keeping the integrity of rhythm and rhyme in the poem intact. Wonderful job, and I wish you good luck in the contest.

    Best wishes,
    ~J.


  • forget my memories
    February 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I push my lips forward, to join onto yours
    Searching for the magic, that I once felt before
    I look to my left, but you still aren't there
    So the kiss to my loved one, just hangs in the air

    i love the end. you did a great job with this. its just what i was looking for. good luck and thank you for entering my contest.


  • xXbroken lullabyXx
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i absolutly love this..it's really sad and heart wrenching though and every person has probably been through this..but good luck and i hope things start to turn out better for you..good luck
    love
    shantel


  • Miss Miranda
    January 24, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was such a sad story. You of all people deserve to be with someone you love. Truly. I wish that this boy realized how amazing and beautiful you are but perhaps he is blind. One day I really believe that you will find a guy that loves you just as much, maybe more, as you love him.
    Love,
    Mommy.


  • Loveandblessings2u gold member
    January 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Sweet Heart your story is a very sad one,
    and all i want for you, more than anything else,
    is for you to be happy. i however do have a very strong feeling that you are going to be as happy
    as can be some day.
    your poem is well written, the story is very interesting, and it flows right along. i am amaze by your writing talent. the ending to this write is just down right outstanding.
    i loved the whole thing.
    manyblessings2u & yours always
    granny


  • NickN
    January 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    And that hanging kiss is just waiting to be snatched up by the one who truly deserves it. Do not despair.
    Keep your head up and hold back the tears.
    And it will all be a dream in a few years.
    Your heart hurts now, but will numb with time.
    Until revived by new love that will be purely sublime.

    A great write, and for the record, it wasn't I who inspired you to write this because these words were already in your heart before meeting me or reading my work. It was you who inspired yourself.

    -Nick

    P.S. Good luck in the contest.


  • HisBreathlessDream
    January 23, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    I think...

    That this is a heartfelt heart wrenching bit of poetry from your heart. Nick is one of my most favs and the fact that he inspired you to write this and enter is not surprising. He has that capability. I am sorry that this is your true story. I thik this write could be polished up a bit... although I am stunned by the vocabulary usage.... I had to look up lugubrious.

    I hope you do well here.

    ~Breathess

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