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~~ Surrender Serenity~~

Missing image
Do you hear the water whispering?
It's voice soft, sensuous, beckoning seductively
Surrender...
Enchanted I concede
Stalked by unbridled
Desire...
Entangled in icy grips as it surreptitiously draws,
My gaze into its soul
Exotic shades of terror and
Exhilaration...
I watch mesmerized
As the water writhes in bittersweet agony
Externally haunted
By ghosts of the undead
Passion...
The salty tribute of my heart
Caresses the liquid angst,
As I succumb
To taste the forbidden,
Ecstasy
Suddenly,my essence takes flight
Searching for a mystic paradise
Known only as
Serenity~

Author notes

I have always loved this poem and the picture that goes with it Thank you all for all the IM's and for those phoning me and talking to me you all are just wonderful and I am so proud to call you my friends and family
Hugs n love
Susan~~~

Written June 6th, 2003

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Comments

1 - 83 of 83

  • daviscth silver member
    April 21

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    Oh wow sis, everything about this is amazing!!! The background and picture are both enchanting and the poems goes great with them.


  • Patpowers silver member
    April 20

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    Beautiful work from start to finish! I love it too...THANKS for writing a nice work such as this!


  • doolie gold member
    April 20

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    Aw, Susan this is a fantastic write. So magical and your imagery was wonderful. I love the picture and background. A real delight to read.

    Well done sis.

  • very nice, thank you for sharing your poem with me.


  • Melodies
    April 20

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    OH MY GOSH this is gorgeous! I love ghost poems, you know that... This one is fabulous.


  • penman gold member
    April 20
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    Excellent

    What a great write. So very well done. Best of luck in the contest.


  • klassy lassy
    April 20

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    Susan, thank you for sharing this one with me. The picture is serenely mesmerizing. The face in the picture could be yours! Water is the essence of life within our cells, and it should be pure. How seductive it is in it's beauty, a gift not like any other, even in the gray days of rain that green the world and silken our existence.

    Part of the poem I do not understand, but that we seek dominion over the elements of destruction with the power of peace and healing, I do.

    ...a beautiful presentation that holds both question and answer, angst and release of spirit.

    love you!

    Karen


  • Maxboy gold member
    April 20

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    A beautiful and sensual write sweetie and such a lovely background.

    Best wishes in the contest Sis
    Bro


  • maralisa silver member
    April 20

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    aw sis this is a very beautiful write I love your imagery and feelings throughout congratulations on your shiny and good luck in the contestmaralisa

  • my3doggies
    May 7, 2006
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    This is a piece that touches the senses.Word usage and imagery are present abundantly.A well written beautiful piece..I enjoyed reading....thanks for sharing...


  • Sorrows Redemption
    May 7, 2006
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    wow...I love this piece, its so, so, so good..its just beautiful, you did an amazing job. It flowed nicely, and the etire thing was so pretty, it was dreamlike.Great Job


  • Lili Liaison
    May 7, 2006
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    I love the picture you paint with this poem. I think this is brilliant. I hope you are doing well. I, being a fellow pixie, worry about you as much as the others. Keep faith. great job on this write!

    Smooshes,
    ~*~Austyn~*~

  • Heart-Shaped Box
    May 7, 2006
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    I like the visuals you placed in this work, kick but keep creating.


  • yellow-brick-road
    May 7, 2006
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    brilliant

    exellent job here. i loved your choice of words...it just felt very *thinks of way to put it into words*... wispy! it felt so smooth and extremely beautiful picture! i could feel every word, and how every one had meaning in the poem.

    Surrender...
    Enchanted I concede
    Stalked by unbridled
    Desire...

    those were my favorite lines/segment.
    i really have no idea why either... i just do and thats all that matters!
    great job, wonderfully written, unique, exquisite! loved every line! great!

    thanks a load of kisses!
    ~~fern~~


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    May 7, 2006
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    Beautiful writing. Loved the soft dreamlike feel of this piece, the form is excellent and the picture is stunning.Keep your pen forever flowing! Bunny


  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    May 7, 2006
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    This is such a beautiful poem. I could picture it perfectly in my mind. I felt like I was in a dream like state. Keep up the awesome poetry!!!


  • NoWayJo
    May 7, 2006
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    this is such a gentle and serene poem, Susan...from first line, "water whispers," it feels as though floating dreamily yet so aware, and now it's my new favorite of yours too! it just brings a sense of calm and tranquility to read and sense the very scene of that place where you bring the reader...

    I love the poem and you, Susan, and it feels special to know your own favorite of your poems. I treasure knowing that...

    Jo


  • earthstar
    May 7, 2006
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    love it very much

    It an awesome poem. I love the picture. Excellent.
    I truly love it.
    Take care


  • MagicLady silver member
    August 30, 2004
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    I am so glad you placed, Susan!!!!!!

    Cheryl


  • MagicLady silver member
    August 26, 2004
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    I vote 3rd


  • Night Hope gold member
    August 25, 2004
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    BEAUTIFUL LADY...THE WHOLE THING!!! PICTURE, POEM...
    POET... hehehe...
    see ya!!! GOOD LUCK, MY FRIEND...
    ~~~ Wanda ~~~


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    August 25, 2004
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    Okay
    Can I vote for me for 2nd LOL
    Everyone else has
    Hope all is well with ya sweetie
    Hugs
    Susan~~~


  • foreverrunning
    August 24, 2004
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    my vote 2nd place


  • TheNewDestiny
    August 24, 2004
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    my vote 2nd place


  • NeverBeTheSame
    August 23, 2004
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    my vote 2ND place


  • Falmarin
    August 23, 2004
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    Awsome and the pic topped it off, I like the use of words! Nice job.

  • haley27 gold member
    August 23, 2004
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    I making this my first place vote.Such beautiful images and rhyme flow. Haley27
    Edited on Aug 23, 3:12 p.m. because ''.


  • Maureen silver member
    August 23, 2004
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    Was just able to find this one, Sis! The info you gave me didn't bring me here.

    As I said when I commented before, you've written a beautiful poem...I echo what others have said...great imagery and metaphors!

    Best of Luck!


    <3 Maureen

  • bannedforever
    August 22, 2004
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    Great imagery and form, definitely nice to read something different than what you usually see. Very good...I especially loved the ending.

    To taste the forbidden,
    Ecstasy
    Suddenly,my essence takes flight
    Searching for a mystic paradise
    Known only as
    Serenity~

    That's a wonderful way to end a poem, and it really brought the whole piece together. Good luck with the contest!


  • strangeillusion
    August 20, 2004
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    The imagery and metaphors are astounding! I am in love with the graphic you used. It just adds the tiny dash of spice to this piece. It's beautiful and I thought I knew the meaning of serenity until I read this and now it makes it mean even more to me. This has such a tranquil feeling to it. Thank you for sharing this!


  • melphleg gold member
    August 13, 2004
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    Once again you put me in the picture you create with your words. I saw the tranquilly of the ocean in this piece. I felt the serenity that the ocean waves produce. Your command of vocabulary is envied. Using "writhes" instead of "this way and that" for example.
    Edited on Aug 13, 11:50 p.m. because ''.


  • jaunty pill gold member
    August 13, 2004
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    This poem is enitrely beautiful. It reminds me of a kindred spirits last song before they leave us...I have to agree with odyssey this is my favorite one from you. Your suttle use of movement , Your images and tasty words. A very exercised piece with all the workings that makes this so timeless and youthful. A definate winner and a refreshing gasp through toxic induced air. Wonderfully done.


    Love to you you susan and good will ,
    James


  • J Rhys Davies
    August 12, 2004
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    This was awesome. I loved the use of imagery and metaphors. This conjured up very vivid images that danced through my mind with ease. I especially loved “liquid angst.” You may want to double check the seventh line, due to a particular letter. Spell check never catches stuff like that. Honestly, this was a fantastic write, worthy of high praise from all who read it.

  • Willow
    August 12, 2004
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    This poem is absolutely stunning. Rocked me back in my chair as I read it. Simply fabulous! Good luck in the contest.

    Loads of love
    from CA,
    ~Sally~


  • March 22, 2004
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    i don't think starting this poem off with a question did much good. perhaps something like "the water whispers;" would be a better suited introduction to this piece. it does have a beautiful image in it, but it sounds too much like a thesaurus.


  • Anubis
    March 22, 2004
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    Very interesting.. Electric almost.. The way you described it was very well. I am truely impressed, I hope the others are as well as this one is. I truely liked it, the others will have to be good to get past this one. I wanted to wait until I had all entries before reading, so the competition seems pumped up. Just for the first entry. Way to go.

  • Maureen silver member
    March 20, 2004
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    Loved this, Sis! Really felt serene while reading this! Beautiful! Good Luck in the contest!

    Love Ya!
    <3 Maureen


  • Mari Goes gold member
    March 20, 2004
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    I feel great peace reading this poem!
    Loved the way you have put the words together.
    It is a place that I would like to find, Utopia!
    So very nicely done Susan!
    Good luck in the contest!
    Mari


  • poetryality silver member
    March 19, 2004
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    The metaphors in this poem are outstanding, and the feeling of serenity is outstretched to make it generate it's beauty through this PC moniter. This is a wonderful piece of artwork. The pictures of the beauty in the power of the water are sensational. This is exquisite my friend. It gives me such a generous and favorable mood.

    The salty tribute of my heart
    Carresses the liquid angst,
    As I succumb to the taste
    The forbidden
    Ecstasy


    Just stunning! Good luck with the contest!

    Much Love,
    Renee

  • Odyssey
    July 19, 2003
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    Stunning picture this artwork is amazing, I want to plaster it all over my walls! This in particular would make a fantastic mural.

    This so far is my fave of yours. I like the one word lines, if it were me I would be tempted to add a line break above each one to add to there power...

    "...By ghosts of the undead

    Passion...
    The salty tribute of my heart
    Caresses the liquid angst,
    As I succumb
    To taste the forbidden,

    Ecstasy
    Suddenly,my essence takes flight..."

    But thats just me! It works wonderfully even without it.


  • Lone Poet
    June 25, 2003
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    Serendipitous!

    Another one I finally got to finish reading...beautiful Sis!! Once again...this is great fantasy...where do you get such a vivid imagination? You're a WIZ at this, espec. with graphics and imagery which are amazing, as usual...I wish I had half the talent you do...Someday I'll get caught up with everyone's...there are alot of old people I haven't read yet, might as well forget the new ones for now...lol You will keep me busy for a long time I bet! HUGS ~Sheryl~

  • Valkricry
    June 13, 2003
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    mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....simply wonderful.... Val


  • vampira1665 silver member
    June 13, 2003
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    WOW,that was simply amazing. I really enjoyed it alot. Your words were so well put and you did an awesome job with imagry. I loved this one. Keep it up. Hugs, Tisha


  • AzulKatze
    June 13, 2003
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    how beautiful!
    the picture added quite a touch
    i love how you described the water, then finding only serenity....
    ahh beautiful
    *~!)o(Azul Corte Katze)o(!~*


  • hartofsilver
    June 11, 2003
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    I loved how this was written susan, so simple, and also so beautiful and poetic (which makes sense cuz it's a poem, I'm just really tired and can't think of better words...)

    I have to say this, just to add a touch of humor to my comment:P

    I know someone named Serenity, she's in my drama class...

    lol, anyway, cool poem

    kayla*

  • Eternal Peace
    June 11, 2003
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    This was a captivating poem! I loved it. The picture to go along with it? Wonderful. 'Do you hear the water whispering?' That was great. Write on
    † Eternal

  • Irridescent
    June 10, 2003
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    You have such an amazing way with the most beautiful words in the english language.. This was so pretty, it made me feel pretty.. Thank you Susan, its not everyday one can read something this delightful.
    ~*Lynn*~


  • Celticmoon
    June 9, 2003
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    Such a tranquil picture of beauty you've painted and share with us all.Just reading this my soul has been relaxed.The words you've chosen so vividly describe what sounds like a personal and serene ecstasy. I quite enjoyed reading this piece and it is sure has become one of my favorites. I apllaud you and your lovely talent.You truly have a way with words.......keep writing.....you're doing great!


  • WoundedAngel
    June 9, 2003
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    Wow, wonderful word use in this piece. Very vivid and beautifully displayed, I was there....excellent write, thank you for sharing,

    -Angel aka WoundedAngel.

  • AzureTwilight
    June 9, 2003
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    Wow, beautiful poem. I love the picture you chose to go along with it -it fits perfectly! I especially love the image in the first line "Do you hear the water whispering?" ::shivers!:: You've made the poem about seduction seductive in itself with the way you've worded everything. I love your choice of words, it's truly beautiful.


  • repomen79 silver member
    June 9, 2003
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    A thing of gentle beauty sweet the sting of ocean tears,
    That wash the memory clean.
    The troubled soul no longer fears,
    And the heart is made serene.
    Surely serinity sings a sweet song,
    In easily forgotten tune.
    Hard to remember, yet there all along.
    Neath the light of a blushful moon.


  • Desiree Darkk
    June 9, 2003
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    Hiya Susan. How are ya?

    This is a gorgeous piece. Your exquisite words and that beautiful picture come together creating a masterpiece. I read this twice and enjoyed it's soothing effect. Wonderful job here.

    Desiree


  • JPLimin
    June 9, 2003
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    very well written and very well put together. your very talented and was awed by your words. TY for sharing this.


  • catz Moderators member
    June 9, 2003
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    And me too, all of the above... This is a most beautiful poem, Susan !!! I can feel the flow, the senseousness of the water, murmuring softly, calming then exilerating, expressions of subtle serenity... awww.. you did it all, girl.. wonderful piece.

    I love this, I thnk it's my favorite of yours

    Luv and ~hugs~
    Dee

    PS.. hope you're feeling better.


  • flowingwords
    June 8, 2003
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    I will echo those other comments..It's beautiful...Surrender Serenity..two words that say it all with out going any further..Kimberly


  • poeticweaver gold member
    June 8, 2003
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    Excellent

    Oh, how I love this piece, written with such a wonderful flow!

    I just loved that last stanza the most, what a great finish:)

    Ecstasy
    Suddenly, my essence takes flight
    Searching for a mystic paradise
    Known only as
    Serenity~

    Wow! I also enjoyed your style here as well!
    Keep up the awesome works and pen on!

    -Timothy


  • SomberShadowz
    June 8, 2003
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    Excellent

    So beautiful, alluring, captivating. A very fantastic piece, with such beautiful images. Wonderfully penned. You have a true talent.
    ~Somber


  • Pamela
    June 8, 2003
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    What can i say that hasn't already been said at this point?

    Beautiful..just an absolutely gorgeous write
    ~Pamela


  • stompsalot
    June 8, 2003
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    Lovely piece

    This is just beautiful! Such a gorgeous picture too! I just want to bath in the waterfall. And drink in all of the serenity.
    "The salty tribute of my heart
    Caresses the liquid angst,
    As I succumb
    To taste the forbidden,
    Ecstasy"
    Amazing! Simply amazing! Thanks for sharing such an awesome piece of work!


  • Skittlesmcafe
    June 8, 2003
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    lovely job, so vivid and peaceful. polished perfectly from start to finish:)

  • Twilights Eyes
    June 8, 2003
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    This is amazing. Beautiful, Mysterious, just... wow. Imagery and Emotion was wonderfully illustrated. This is quite a work of art. I also like the picture, goes well with your writing. Beautifully Penned. Keep this up.


  • FormerlySaffron
    June 8, 2003
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    Awww... this leaves me speechless, Susan. Seductive,
    alluring and mysterious. Love the photo. Terrific
    write.

    Wanda
    Edited on Jun 08, 2:47 p.m. because ''.


  • Ocean Fever Fae
    June 8, 2003
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    Water is often a calming, yet alluring temptress, yet you seem to have captured her with your words. I'm curious, was this inspired by a bubble bath? Just kidding, dear, but I was just pondering the inspiration behind your words because they are so vivid. Your imagery is always so well-written that I can practically feel myself floating in a moonlit stream right now. Wonderful.


  • Balladeer
    June 7, 2003
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    Susan, this is very beautiful writing. It is gentle, seductive and delicate with a slight undertow of mystery.....you made me hear the water....

  • mina nagi
    June 7, 2003
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    wow... Beautiful poem to go with the lovely painting... fabulously written... thanx for sharing...
    mina


  • Leance
    June 7, 2003
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    Wow.....so many good lines in here that I am not sure as to which one I like the best.......fantastic write.....absolutely fabulous..
    thanks so much.......lisa anne


  • Concrete Angel silver member
    June 7, 2003
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    This is beeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaauitfuuuuuuuuuuuuuul... no other way to put it. The poem tells the tale of the pictuer. Fabulous work girlie! hugs Luv ya!

    P.S. I've seen that pic somewhere before for sale... hmmm

  • prairiegal gold member
    June 7, 2003
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    don\'t change a masterpiece

    Susan, this speaks so loudly to my Heart. I was drawn into your painted canvas from the first couple lines. What beauty you have captured here. Searching for something we all seek "Serenity in Life". Your pictures always wrap and present you precious words like gems from the richest worldly, Minds! That right not "mines"! We could never dig deep enough to fine gems of your quality, my friend! Thank You, 4 all the love and support. God Bless You Richly for YOU are so faithful to All!!!!


  • Nyx Iscariot
    June 7, 2003
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    susan, you always seem to amaze me with the subtle and graceful beauty of your poems! i love the opening alliteration that you use, it enhances the imagery in the poem.
    Do you hear the water whispering?
    It's voice soft, sensuous, beckoning seductively
    Surrender...
    -these three lines are my favorite! i also liked the mild erotic that you've incorporated into this poem. very nice.

    Nyx...

  • Pari Ali
    June 7, 2003
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    This is Beautiful am I sounding like an echo? sigh it is truely gorgeous love the choice of words and the picture is fab too.

  • Maureen silver member
    June 7, 2003
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    EXCELLENT!

    I share the enthusiasm of everyone who commented! Fabulous write, Sis! Enjoyed it immensely!!! Your well-chosen words created just the right mood...I'm serene as I can be! lol That pic' is sensational! ********** (ten stars for this one)


    Luv Ya!
    < 3 Maureen
    Edited on Jun 07, 4:50 p.m. because ''.

  • Lone Poet
    June 7, 2003
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    Beautiful and inspiring...

    Wow Sis...I loved this...and the picture...you find the coolest graphics. I'm not in a good frame of mind right now, and your words are going over my head, so I'm sorry if I'm not really getting its meaning, but I know what serenity is...and wish there was some for me and my family...sigh. Peace of mind. HUGS


  • Sheer Poetry
    June 7, 2003
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    OOOOHMYGOSH!!! Honey this is my favorite of all your works, I think. It's so magical. It's peaceful. It's haunting. It's melancholy. It's spiritual. It's uplifting. It's joyous. I don't know how you did it, but you picked the perfect words, the perfect picture, and the perfect style. It's absolutely fantabulous girlie. A most impressive write indeed. LOVE IT!!!

    PPFQ approves. . .


  • rufina caraid gold member
    June 7, 2003
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    The salty tribute of my heart
    Caresses the liquid angst,

    Susan - a beautiful poem - the picture enhances your words but they also draw their own visual feast.
    ~Von~


  • eye-charm
    June 7, 2003
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    This poem is beautiful! It almost put me to sleep (I MEAN THAT IN A GOOD WAY!!!) It gives such a calm and serene image, I felt myself floating in midair! Very nicely written and wonderful imagery :-) well done!!!


  • Kalexi
    June 7, 2003
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    Susan

    Absolutely Incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Amazingly beautiful words, from your divine heart caressed my soul, leaving a peaceful trail of serenity, my words cannot describe

    I LOVE the picture!!!!! Your amazing words breathed sweet life into this beautiful piece of art:)

    Love ya,

    Karen


  • cherche -d -ame
    June 7, 2003
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    Susan I believe you found your calling....this was beyond words So tranquil ..........and the pic just gave it the final touch .
    Reenie


  • Redstormy gold member
    June 7, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    The salty tribute of my heart
    Caresses the liquid angst,
    As I succumb
    To taste the forbidden,
    Ecstasy
    Suddenly,my essence takes flight
    Searching for a mystic paradise
    Known only as
    Serenity~

    I love these final lines as one who seeks serenity could. Beautifully delicious write my friend.

    Red


  • Jonathan Wikkins silver member
    June 6, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    this one is wonderful, susan! absolutly beautiful write, and i agree, it goes right with the graphic! such passion you speak of! wow!

    blessed be
    mike


  • Rose Patrick
    June 6, 2003
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    this I think is one of your best to date. i love it. I thank you so very much for im me about it. I loved every word of it. I thank you so much for shareing it


  • Danna Hobart
    June 6, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Whispering
    Surrender
    Desire
    Exhilaration
    Passion
    Ecstasy
    Serenety

    What a fitting collection of words to set your tranquil tone, Susan... I must add one more: Beautiful!



  • Amunet Wolfbane Moderators member
    June 6, 2003
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    omgs this is one of the most beautiful, serene pieces I've ever read!!! just wow hun


  • Epicureanpoetry
    June 6, 2003
    Edit | Reply


    Fellow poet, this is utterly beautiful!

    The poem and the picture compliment each other perfectly, and I am
    very glad to have found it!

    "The salty tribute of my heart
    Caresses the liquid angst,
    As I succumb
    To taste the forbidden,
    Ecstasy
    "
    Those were my favorite lines..Indeed, a sultry
    well written poem!



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