Resonating Candlelight

You're a little late
here in this dark room
... i wait for you dark room
i wait and wait, slowly
memorizing
every inch of this room
so that i won't make a
+fool-
out of my self when you return;
bumping into things and
falling
more than i have already
fallen

i wait for the door to
open...
for you to come and let me in...
and the day, the one you
come
back to me
i hope someday it will come
and as i watch the time pass
slowly
every second seeming like an hour
(every sound
seeming)
like
(a) (scream)
and the loud and
(peircing)
beat of my heart
echoing(echoing)
throughout the murky atmosphere
of this
lonely room

you're just a little late
i know you will come [soon]
and you'd never abandon me
it's what you'd never do

and time goes by much
-slower+

life in this room seems
dead
i feel locked in this room
and yet...
i feel like a stranger to my
own soul
and to my heartbeat...
and the rom is still dark;
a gray, musty
rotting room...
-even if you came
i'd only be able to
hear
-your-
heartbeat
...but never would i...
see
-your-
face

and it seems so
long ago
that i functioned normally,
now i feel like a
mere (spirit +
that haunts
(+) and [manipulates]
my) soul into
WaItiNG for you to (return
) but i know you never
[will] return
and i know the whispering
words that my
tears
say... things so depressing and
(truthful +
it makes my) [heart]
?drown?
in self-pity
and ocean of black
{not blue}
oil {not water}
that makes me sink slower to the
floor of the
black muck,
and i die a slower and more
painful death...
(and) i close my eyes...
for my oil tears hurt as they
come out of my red and
swollen, sullen eyes...
my face a mere ghost sunk in
and (+lonely+).
but no, i can feel it
([lingering]) in the air
a spirit sent to once more
convince
me that you will
[-not-] return
and my ears cannot hear the
words
that are said
{you are gone}+, {you are never coming back}+, (and)
+{give up...}
but they sound just like birds
crowing
cocks screeching their song
(doves whistling +
the saddest tune (melody
that) i have ever heard|
)and through it all, i still
know that this dark rooms was
once
[lit] with
candles of {resonating...} light
that drove my soul outrageously
into-> {yours=
colliding} as one
{and then pulling (-apart-)
and in the middle} of a
{table (in the middle of the) room [I memorized the
(room) for] you} a
ROSE laid, (now dead)
in the center of the table beside the
two candles {of resonating light}
and soon it withered
(sere roses told me you'd left
[and still i) didn't listen]
and as i wait,
the candles both have died down
(to) the candlestick
{the rose now a (manifestation)
for bugs to
feed upon}
...you're gone...
i know you're gone...

(and still i lie upon this bed
the lust that drove me now is dead
i can't believe that you are gone
you never loved me all along)

[and still i feel it's you i need
a love for which i still would bleed
but all along you had played me
i can't believe you're just a dream]

{you know you held me
you seemed so true
you seemed so lovely
but that never was you}

+i covet the riches
the end and the start
you never part
...i still hold empty wishes+

-your face is still here
and it's cold on my heart
though you never did love me
i'm still torn apart-

?but are you coming back
is this just me being crazy?

...and so i wait for you to come
the day it is your face i see
and still i wait for that one say
when you will rescue me...