I am the monster,
Hiding under your bed.
I am the voice,
That screams in your head.
I am the devil,
Hanging off of your shoulder.
I am the frostbite,
As winter grows colder
I am the stranger,
At the centre of your dreams.
I am the silence,
That follows your screams.
I am the anger,
Feeding your fire.
I am the mud,
And the death in the mire.
I am the thought,
That you have at the end.
And only now do you realise,
That I am your friend.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The middle stanza is strong. The beginning does not draw one in immediately, though it is good - it does not meet the standards the middle sets for it. The end is a slight anti-climax, perhaps because I was expected slightly more imagery. All in all, however, very good.
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yes on reading back the ending is pretty pathetic, and i think i will change it, do you think i could get away with making it longer? and is it worthy of Teeth?
i also demand that you take your delightful bebo comment down right away ^-^ though it is highly amusing, it is poking fun at people who are lesser than ourseves and cant help it and you and i both know that that is just not what we stand for!
no honestly take it down. -
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I think it's worthy of Teeth. But I don't know what comment you mean, therefore cannot comply. I am too frequently an arsehole to be able to deduce which comment you might be referring to.
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