this love is taking you down
you suffocate, yet you even drown
nowhere to escape, not even behind your shade
the love still hurts, imagery starts to fade
you can hide, you can run
but your feelings will fetch you back
you are pathetic and torn
her ring on your finger still worn
look in the mirror, are you pleased?
bliss and beauty that's what you see
no, its water and electricity
and a widower who's released
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED!
One may be left by the one they love but their feelings do not leave as easy.
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Excellent
This is a really well written poem!
Shows emotions of a marriage gone wrong..
I like the twist at the end,But you have done an excellent job..well done -
You have nailed these emotions .... when love turns to hate who knows what runs through peoples mind. Your lines ufold the story playing out in my head and that twist at the end....love that in a poem to the ending of your last line which summarises the post beautifully. We make mistakes and love dies then pay the price. Thank you for the pleasure of the read
love to walk through the dark
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Good job. Bad marriage taking you down, till you have no place to hide anymore. But you still wear her ring. But my favorite lines are in the final stanza. "no, its water and electricity and a widower who's released."
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well i like the twist at the end and the idea in your poem. spell check is sugested (electicity for example) but i have spelling issues all the time too. it just disrupts the flow of the poem a little. the last stanza is really good...it was a great way to finish. good write.
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thanks for your comment!
i fixed the spelling issue.
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