Death Flight
Cowering in a world of my own
Lost in my thoughts and all alone
Evening breeze caresses my face
Longing for your absent embrace
Once before, he had passed my way
Damn bird; why is he here today?
He took you love, without a trace
Dejected in this lonely place
Snatching souls as he passes by
When last he came, he made me cry
That damn bird is back in this place
Leaving his feathers as a trace
Cowering in a world of my own
Longing for your absent embrace
Author notes
A Kyrielle Sonnet consists of 14 lines (three rhyming quatrain stanzas and a non-rhyming couplet). Just like the traditional Kyrielle poem, the Kyrielle Sonnet also has a repeating line or phrase as a refrain (usually appearing as the last line of each stanza). Each line within the Kyrielle Sonnet consists of only eight syllables. French poetry forms have a tendency to link back to the beginning of the poem, so common practice is to use the first and last line of the first quatrain as the ending couplet. This would also re-enforce the refrain within the poem. Therefore, a good rhyming scheme
for a Kyrielle Sonnet would be:
AabB, ccbB, ddbB, AB -or- AbaB, cbcB, dbdB, AB.
In a list
A contest entry
- Make me see by .
450 points, ended January 24, 2007, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I actually like this style
my favourite part:
Cowering in a world of my own
Lost in my thoughts and all alone
just cuz i relate
the aabababdivbodncd style i read on the page of the style .. confused me like madness
now i guess ..
lol
you teach me a lot without interacting with me
well .. atleast about what you're teaching me
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Fantastic
This is unique, and its that uniqueness that had me coming back and reading again,
your attention to form was inspiring and the depth of your words was truly beautiful.
just a wonderful piece
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i love it that all of your newest poems are in italics...it gives it a nice touch..and what i am saying probably doesn't make sence but WHATEVER!!!
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From Your Soul I see
An unbelievably beautiful description of what you see daily, as your passion flies by most. I see your smile as you write, knowing you are in a place not many know. Wonderful lines I can see, with your soul at the forefront. I loved it, and you grow as a writer with each though you convey.
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where do you learn about all these forms of writing poetry!!!??? i mean..you aren't just an AMAAZING poet..but you also use sooo many of the forms!!!!! i want to be lyk you...haha..well if there is lyk a site...or book...or whatever that you find these all on..please tell me..cuz i really want to learn to be a better writer...okay...THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!BYE!!!!!!
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Stunning!
Your skill has re-enforced the power of the Kyrielle Sonnet.
“Cowering in a world of my own
Longing for your absent embrace”
Lay a strong foundation – “bookends” to the powerful masterpiece
The imgery of the raven (Death) taking a loved one away is very powerful.
Bravo!
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Masterfully executed! One feels deeply the sentiment as well. And a lift of the tiny hairs upon the arm with this line:
Leaving his feathers as a trace
Electric!
xxoo
dk
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This is a very good poem, I've only ever tried writting an skakepearean sonnet and i know it takes alot of skill. I also like the picture you have at the top of the poem, its very mystic, this is amazing keep it up!
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Intelligent and lovely
Beautiful, angry, and vulnerable. Such a sexy conundrum. You express it so very well, leaving me hoping against hope that vulnerability wins in the end, and the open ended longing you leave is satisfied. Three mutated bunny-hares for this effort!!! Thank you.
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