Science is wrong by fiction.
Fiction is wrong by science.
Truth is wrong by opinion.
Truth of what?
Is it a surprise that we associate the present
with the sound of guns?
the taste of tears?
the smell of fear?
Ha.
What is there to fear?
If you believe life is eternal,
then why do you fear Hell?
Won't our Almighty Deity lubricate it all?
Believe?
.....
.....
.....
.....
:: a voice sounds over a loudspeaker in monotone ::
Moderatio est figmentam- control is an illusion. Authority is a game.
Failing isn't real.
The hand that seems to hammer us into the hard, unbreakable ground
does not exist. You can hear the screaming and see the pain...but 'they' have only been sucked into a world of mirages.
:: an electrical beep sounds and the mic is turned off ::
When you fail,
When you falter,
You fall to your knees
and
pray...
...
To a deity that hides in the clouds and whispers things in our head...
that only we, ourselves, can hear...
Believe?
:: an old man in a rocking chair relates with his young grandson ::
Son, let me tell you something.
Earth is Hell, my boy. It kills without a thought of remorse.
The heat that comes from the ground, son, the heat everyone talks about...the one you learn about in science books, is not from a Hell below our feet, it is not from pressured, heated metal. That heat is our own anger, greed, contempt that cycles through our atmosphere. Just like our water, son. That's why most of the water on this earth is so bitter...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sin is the best saint. It is always there. It always does what it is meant to do. It is consistent. And it feels so good...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Look at the stars,
Where is he?
Does he wear camoflage
like our killing soldiers?
In the swirls of the clouds,
Where is he?
Does he blend with his surroundings
does he not want to be found?
If heaven is promised to everyone, why don't you kill yourself now?
Choke yourselves with your fancy Rosary.
Drown yourselves in Holy Water....
Believe?
Blind folded,
a veil of ignorance over our eyes,
lying in a puddle of blood that is blame,
we are left only to listen
to the commanding words
out of crooked smiles
and follow them.
Wade in the muddy water
read the words out of the big black book
as knives zig zag across our numb souls
relieving our pains
answering our prayers
fictional pleas
to an opinion-formed Deity...
But now we're back at the beginning...
Beleive?
Author notes
I don't like it. But....yeah...whatever
A contest entry
- Surprise Me by Fall.Of.Rome.
900 points, ended February 3, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
-
lol
are you a philosipher? You sure sound like one through your poems I've noticed. If you are that's cool I like those poems that make you think and have metaphors so close to what they portray it's almost unreal
-
Humm...I'm not completely sure of what to make of this poem...it is a little confusing at times, but I think that's because there is such a mix of ideas and questions. When I finish reading, I don't know for sure which side you are actually on. Not that it is necessary for the reader to know, but it would satisfy my curiosity.
The poem could be seen as highly controversial, especially for those who DO believe (of which I am one, incidentally.
) Technically I really have nothing to offer other than the issue of clarity. As for the thoughts and ideas within the poem, I hope some of the questions you've asked here are ones you'll eventually find or rediscover on your own. As you get older, if you read and learn about all kinds of spirituality and faith, you may find there are just as many reason TO believe as there are NOT to believe.
Once again though, I am impressed with the depth of thought and your handling of language. I'm looking forward to reading more...
Best wishes,
~J.
-
hmmmmmmmmmmm...............
Marisa some parts had me confused because of your question, believe. After reading this I started to picture what you were writng and started thinking about this in a sort of short movie. I think that your trying to make people question whether they believe or not in God or as you refer to it, deity. I think that most are confused because most people don't want to question about heaven and hell or anything that has to deal with this subject. I don't know if you are a MATRIX fan, but most people loved the first movie. When the second two came out, most people didn't like then because they had to think about the movie and the points it was trying to make and the movie was trying to make people think about their lives, much like this write. I love those movies becuase it has strong biblical ties throught the series, especially the last two movies. I do think that you have something special here, it just needs to be tweeked a little bit, but this is definitely an interesting read. Good luck in the contest.
-
i like this sort of confusing at times. i read it twice. but your so young and have so much time to get so much better with writing i see an amazing poet shinning threw this you just need a little bit more time. nice job
*sam
-
to be honest, this has me lost and i don't know what to think about it, but that is just me. keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
-
Marisa Sweetie this is a most awesome write, i love your word usage, love you always Mom
xoxooxoxooxoox
-
It sounds like you're seriously confused. What's up?
Sin is the best saint?
Who said Heaven was promised to everyone?
Are you saying to believe is stupid??? -
-
If she's saying to believe is stupid, then I'm glad.
-
-
wow
awesome write, very dramatic.. i enjoyed every word...
good luck in the contest...
red roses
-
Wow...certainly interesting, I like this...thank you and good luck
Adding your comment:
1 - 10 of 10
