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Leaving

Room
Darkened

Whithering
Away

Slowly
Fading

Can't
Stay

Author notes


Written June 6th, 2003

In a list

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • Calm Catastrophe
    February 17, 2006
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    so simple but yet so powerful. my fav. part of poems is the ending, either a clincher that makes you go wow, or something that leaves it up to the reader's imagination. Your ending is pretty cool. Overall a great poem


  • JordanRene
    July 17, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    'know i spelled that wrong! Just think melonie hamilton the pale faced mealy mouth ninny soon to be greatest, yet unappriciated friend as we know her was a total, utter, and complete basket case, wrong in the head person, now that is something i never would have guessed! Also i meant to tell you last night on t.v. i saw a movie on lifetime called burning desire the margret mitchell story, did you know she had 2 husbands the first 1 namend rhett who raped her! and o my god i never knew margret mitchell was so wild! she danced naked in a fountaine in the middle of the city! IT was one awesome movie, i asked lifetime to send me a copy by sayign i was doing a report on her, but they said for legal reasons they cant send out copy's, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr that made me realllly mad! God this thing is so long it could be a short report i wonder how many points it's worth? befor i finish i must telll you make sure when you get me my chocolate it's dark choclate only dark!well this is really long i think i may type a few more words to make it longer, ha ha your sunburn girl! You got sunburned!!!!Lol(pointing and laughing) That one ride was fun, are the penguins still shunning you?! remember our causual convorsation on the superman??!! as god as my witness i will never go hungry again!(head drop)da da dada da da dada dada da da daaaaaaa dadadadaaaa'hey girl i luv yas' kewwwwwl


  • fantastix silver member
    June 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Sort of sci-fi reminded me of the outer limits...spooked me out a bit. I think if you expanded on the imagery more it was increase the intensity of the piece. Thanks for commenting on Parched.

    ~Angela
    Edited on Jun 13, 8:37 p.m. because ''.


  • June 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply

    okay

    aw, it would've been nice if there was more to it. otherwise, it's intriguing.

  • MysticRoseTears
    June 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    That kinda describes your room, its so stuffy and hot you can't stay!

  • chatterbox005
    June 13, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    very interesting great write


    ~Hannah


  • ForbiddnEcstasy
    June 12, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    Me likes too!!

    Ashlie

  • accordingtome
    June 8, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    wow..............me likes

    luv ya
    me


  • NeptunesMight
    June 6, 2003
    Edit | Reply
    interesting.. kinda neat.

1 - 9 of 9