Silence
Echoes
No one near
No one cares
They all left
Shivers against cold
Closing
Choking
Consuming
The water draws her
Pulling her in
Pulling her under
Suffocating
Stabbing
Succumbing
Drowning in the water
Limp soul
Leaves a lifeless body
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Wow...you really capture the feeling of loneliness here. I love the metaphor between solitude and drowning, as well. The disjointed rhythm and awkward pauses work well together for this piece. Kudos!
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wow, this is really well written! I like it. I can relate... being lonely is NEVER fun... not at all!
I feel lonely because I lost my grandpa... I thought he was supposed to be INVINCIBLE but he wasn't... -sigh- ok, before I start crying again... heh. good job again! keep it up!
Crimson -
Feels like waking up....
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so sad but so true i can relate
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again, a beautimous piece--so blunt and straightforward, but twisted and screwed up. love it!!
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aqwwwwwwww *tear*
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