A dozen dead roses!
Why a dozen dead roses well let me explain.
when we first started dating I gave you a rose
On our one month anniversary,
you smiled when you got it and cutely wrinkled your nose.
I decided I would give you a rose each month we were together, and with me
you would stay
But like the roses your love withered away
That was a year ago, the night I gave you the first rose
Where your love went God only knows
So here’s a dozen dead roses to symbolize
The hurt you see when you look in my eyes
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Aww.. this is sad.
it's really good though.
I can relate.. Great job! -
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Thanks!
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Sad, but great. I wrote a poem like this before. its just called dead roses though.
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Damn good!
This is fucking excellent! A damn good write! Well penned and an easy read that flows beautifully. It is sad as hell, and you did a great job expressing that sorrow and pain. You titled it perfectly as well. Awesome fucking poem!
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Welcome to Allpoetry!
Love the title of this poem it drew me right in. Also the last two lines are fabulous and are perfect for this piece. Nice, nice work! I would like to take this opportunity to welcome you to Allpoetry. I know being new to a site you may have a few questions or concerns, so please feel free to ask any greeter or use the "Help" tab at the top of your page
Dove
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thanks
thanks much
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Good job
A great piece. I like that the dozen dead roses symbolize the hurt. Every month you were together. But instead of saying the roses symbolize the hurt, why aren't they the hurt? You could rewrite it like this.
"So here's a dozen dead roses,
here's the hurt you see when you look in my eyes."
I don't know, it's just an idea. That's what we're here for, right? Anyway, it was a good piece. I really enjoyed reading it.
Keep writing!
Casey
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thanks
thanks much for the feedback, i am interested in any ideas on any of the poems
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