Some say it belongs to Rash Hashanah
Others the creaking bow of Cybele and Ishtar
below sulfer coated floors in Hades' kitchen,Persephone's trap
Possibly in the mouth of a savior, a virgin's manger snack
Or even in Hera's crown, which all could see in the northern sky-
But before all the upward looks and mythological books to see
did it not come from a tree?
Author notes
this is a critique upon religious images. Due to recent technological confusion, If you wish to applaud it, then can you applaud this version:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2544598
thank you so much for understanding.
A contest entry
- Pomegranate by ea.
1200 points, ended January 29, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - If You Want Comments... by RT michaels.
335 points, ended February 13, 2007, 106 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best Prewrite by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 25, 2007, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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i like this. I like this a lot. A very good point that you never really see to many people take the time to care about or even notice. I like the idea of using all related myths and religions. It makes it much more universal. Particularly the last line, your use of words is stupendous. Very excellent write, thank you for the entry.
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What an interesting poem - drawing together these religious images and then relating them back to nature is a very strong idea. I think too much store is set by the religious (and I am one) on imagery - to the detriment of spiritual reality.
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This made me smile. Contratulations on your honorable mention.
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I just wanted to clarify that I didn't mean for you to remove "Persephone's", I only wanted you to capitalize it and add the apostrophe, to think about dropping that segment of that line down, and to add something to the beginning of that third like: "Those who know below sulpher..." (That's not a good example, but can you see what I mean?)
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I didn't see Rowan's remark until just now so I will refrain from going to the other page which would give away the anonymous judging aspect. Your name here in this comment is hidden from me for the time being. I do so like this title, I also wanted to mention.
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This is quite enjoyable. I burst out laughing at the thought of a "virgin's manger snack" and the last two lines are divinely witty. I do think it needs a little tweaking; perhaps "to Rosh Hashanah" and the third line needs something (besides Persephone's), maybe she can be dropped to the fourth line. I appreciate you are trying to keep it short. Well done.
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Rowan:
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Smart poetry. Well done. This one really interests me, I like it.
(three applauses)"
this poem accidentally re-entered and lost its comment when I tried to edit it, but that was a comment from Rowan that is on my other version and didn't transfer over, Its confusing me.
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