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Carnality Past

Missing image

Carnality Past


Strolling down the dingy back alley
I spied a cigarette butt, crushed
Visions crossed my mind, dark
That filthy thing tells me a story

Street urchins live here at night
They disappear in daylight somehow
That discussing little cylinder
How many times had it been relit?

The man who left it there, smoldering
I see his face encrusted and sorrowed
His slovenly show makes him invisible
His self esteem gone, shattered long ago

I wonder where his family is
Why was he so pitifully discarded?
I realize the moral majority is neither
I quickly wipe the tear, I must get home

 

 

 

 

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cigarette butt

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7
  • Gypsy-at-Heart
    February 3, 2007

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    First of all thank you for your entry in my contest. I really enjoyed reading this unusual piece. I like the way that you've seen something so simple be discarded on the floor and really read it's history. You've obviously put some thought into this poem and tell a story very well.

    I like the alliteration pattern in the stanza's. For instance in stanza 3 the use of 'smoldering', 'sorrowed', 'slovenly show', 'self-esteem' and 'shattered' give it a great flow throughout.

    I love the final stanza because it takes us back to the main object as the use of 'his' and 'he' show that you're thinking of the object as a real person with a family and the idea of abandonment.

    Excellent write. Well done


  • Manoura xx
    January 24, 2007
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    omg...this is soo scary...and haunting...and the picture is too...if it has anything to do with you...no offense...sorry...i know that is mean...but whatever...GREAT JOB HERE>...KEEP UP THE GREAAAAAAT WORK!!!!!!!BYE!!!!!


  • PerVirtuous
    January 22, 2007

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    Haunting

    You are able to deduce all of that, like Sherlock Holmes, from only a single fag! Can I call you next time I can't find my car keys?


  • January 21, 2007

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    Interesting...

    The way thing are... Yet we can make a differnce and turn the tide. Words turn to awarness then to action. Sparking the revolution.


  • Cherry Hades
    January 21, 2007

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    I know I've done the "can't afford anymore, so I'll re-light the one I just found" a few times. Where did you get the inspiratation for this? Its darkly beautiful.


    • Amera gold member
      January 21, 2007
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      Thank you Cherry, inspiration came from seeing a cigarette butt. My muse allows me to see poetry in everything.


  • ThaliaLaughed
    January 21, 2007

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    Wow... that is incredibly potent. It reminds me of everytime I'm in a large city, and you see something small that reminds you of something much bigger. Brava.

1 - 7 of 7