I feel all alone,
The people around me,
They are just,
Objects close by.
I cry,
But you never notice,
When I laugh,
I laugh alone.
When I am scared,
You're no where in sight.
I feel lonely,
But you can't see it.
Why is it that you are here,
If you can't see me?
Why do I face my problems,
All alone?
Have you forgotten,
I am a Wife,
I am a Mother,
I am a Daughter.
Yet, I still am alone,
Alone to cry,
to laugh,
to just be me....
Open your eyes,
I am here in front of you.
Help me,
As I have always done for you.
Author notes
I think it may need some work, whats your thought?
Written June 5th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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wow i know exactly how you feel sometimes i just feel so alone even though there are so many people around me its like not matter how loud i scream no one hears me anywayz great write keep up the great work
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I really related to this poem. It's a touching poem that I don't think needs much work.
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Have you thought about going go school? Work is good for some people, but for me, going to school was what built up my confidence and where I used to feel alone in a room full of people, I never do anymore. I wish you inner peace.
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Strong comeback! Can relate very well to you!
I know how you feel. been there done that. And is isn't the best. But you have to admit. It makes us just a bit more stronger. Don't you agree? Again....thoughts well said. -
I loved
'when i laugh
i laugh alone'
those lines were really powerful to me. when you asked about improvements, i guess the flow could do to be a little more constant but i think the actual wording and content is great. nice write, toni x -
great passion and anguish. the flow is off a little bit but i think that adds to the effect of the emotions you portrayed in this. i can relate to this completely and it sucks but you put it out there (i couldnt find the word i was looking for) very well.
-paige- -
Full of feelings...seems that you are stuck in lifes waves...great poem..discribes things so well..thanks for sharing
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I think the piece is extremely simple in content, but provides everything enough to have a very powerful impact. You portray your emotions extremely well in the piece...it's very good,
-Angel aka WoundedAngel.
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Thank you all for all of your comments.... It took a lot to write this poem, thanks for all your support.
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very very good
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visual,powerful,emotional,filled with truth
Did you mean here, instead of hear? This piece was listed personal and didn't expect a piece on deep dark depression. The totally alone feeling one has when in this place. This certianly speaks to me. I suffer from depression due to high chronic physical pain. My depression with medication is not under control, right now. I see,feel,know those deep thoughts of others being around but still the aloneness. In my opinion you have written a very powerful description of being trapped in such a place. Some can understand others do not. They possess a snap out of it frame of mind. The victim of depression can't do that! If, it were that easy, we would all do so, as quickly as we could snap that finger. In the darkness of that pit, all reality is completely distorted. I hope you can read through my typos. Retrieve the meanings I tried to leave here. This doesn't fuel my own depression. Exactly the opposite, it reminded me, many fight this battle. I am not alone! That is a good thing! Know that you are not really alone. We feel that way! This is a real quality piece of work here! May God Bless You and Hold things together for You. Until His light shines brightly through the other side. I am clinging to that Hope. It is all I have right now to hold on to! Thanks you for the courage it takes yto write such a piece for others to see. I'll be back. Hope to get here sooner. My really list is very lone. I haven't forgotten you here at AP. I am just pretty slow!
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Very good...I really like it! I don't think it needs much work. It seems to have everything already in it. But maybe if you feel it needs something just sit down with it at the table and look at it, your imagination will shape it the right way.
The only thing I saw wrong was this line....
"Why is it that you are hear"
now you could have meant "near" because that would work...
Or you could have meant "here" which works the same...
Whatever you choose I am sure will work. ::smiles:: Great write. I really liked it.
Thanks for the comment on me.
Deadly Dying, With Love.
Lady
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