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Racecar/Asshole/Sunshine

Your arms wind
Around my neck
And you dig
Your nails in
Just how I like
But the camera
Can't see it
My right arm
Held high
Fingers in a
Victory pose
My left hand
Tugs the end
Of your dress
Birthday cake
Gaudy Icing
Cherry Ice-Cream
Party Poppers
Present pile
You roll your eyes
And I just smile...

Author notes

InfectionBirthday (Well I think it's a good name... ^_^)

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • OurxBeginning
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sorry, this isn't what we're looking for, but nice try anyways.


  • oktiggerknowsbest
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Okay poem.

    The background color seems too bright and your text color tends to blend into the background as well. I am not sure what the title has do with what you wrote. It is good, short, and to the point. Good luck!


  • medicalpoet
    October 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    brilliant

    nice flow with the poem... it's cute! lol... I do have to say the yellowish gold backgound is a bit much, but the poem was great!!!

  • Consolecharlie
    June 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Great poem, does thsi happen after a race? I can just oicture that in my head! Really good poem with a hint of sensuality! Well done!


  • Taxing Minds
    June 4, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hmmm, an interesting write. You might want to change the colors cause it's a bit hard to read. Interesting style and form, maybe not completely to my liking but oh well. Keep writing and I'm sure I'll hit one I like.


  • badddgirl
    June 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Ok I am lost


  • your angers a gift
    June 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Cool

    huh...yeah soumds like a some party or birthday or something...I liked this...don't see many poems writen about this...and I liked how you used short phrases...it gave it more character I think...good write

  • keeko
    January 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ya i agree with "SorrowWithoutWords" about the whole chemistry part of this poem, but then again... thats the secret behind all pictures isnt it? its not whats happening in the picture, but the memory the picture holds...

    i like this poem, because it brings that very thing out. it tells a story of true, yet hidden feelings. short, sweet, to the point. nice work! :-)


  • SorrowWithoutWords
    January 21, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Short phrased poem I like it. It seems to be centered around a birthday party by the end but I'm questioning the two people motives in the poem. While posing for a picture they obviously have a bit of chemistry flying about. Wonderful short sweet!
    ~Sorrow~


    • Isabel Cult
      January 21, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      ^_^

      Thanks for the comment! I'll return the favour now...

1 - 11 of 11